What the experts say

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'Outdoor Fitness Tips' by Louise Whyte of Penelope Fitstop (Summer 2010)

South London based fitness company, Penelope Fitstop, believes in helping you to achieve your "maximum yummy" potential through positive encouragement, guidance and motivation. The company was set up by mum of 2, Louise Whyte who quit her city job to train as a personal trainer after discovering a lack of good exercise advice for mums. They now have a team of wonderfully encouraging fully qualified female trainers who will motivate you to achieve the body you've always wanted.

Here, Louise gives us her tips for shaking up your usual gym routine by taking it outdoors.

Louise says "there are an abundance of fitness companies offering outdoor bootcamps, workouts and circuit type classes in local parks and outdoor areas. Try to find a class that has a whole body approach, working and targeting those problem areas specific to women. And if you are worried about the cold, then fear not. These classes encourage you to move around as much as possible using drills, ball games and body weight exercises. This burns fat and keeps the metabolism firing on all cylinders. Find a class aimed at all ages and abilities, with easier and harder alternatives, meaning everyone can work at their own pace and see results fast.

So what are the benefits? The unstable environment of working out outside burns more calories, while natural sunlight provides plenty of vitamin D for stronger bones and well-being. Natural daylight can also help fight depression as can the camaraderie of being in a group of like minded women.

So if your gym routine leaves you uninspired and you want to get a good dose of fresh air and laughter, get your bikini body off to a flying start by working out in the great outdoors.

If you can't find a suitable class nearby then round up a group of friends, head to your local park and try the following mini circuit:

- Fast walk for 10 minutes ensuring your shoulders are back and abs pulled in

- Jog for a further 5 minutes then find a tree or bench to sprint to then recovery jog back, repeat x 8

- Using a bench to support your hands perform 20 press ups, then turn round and do 20 tricep dips

- Lunge walk for approx 50 metres, followed by 20 squats, holding the squat position pulse for two sets of 8

- Place a towel on the grass, perform 20 curl ups and 20 legs up, reaching for alternate laces

- Roll onto your front and hold the plank position for 30 seconds

- Remember to have a good stretch and drink plenty of water!"

Penelope Fitstop offer personal training, outdoor bootcamps, postnatal exercise courses, beginner and intermediate running courses and their fantastic Bootox weekends (2 days of intensive exercise in beautiful woodland plus a 7 day diet plan to follow) a great pre-holiday preparation (www.penelopefitstop.com). If anyone requires any fitness related advice please email Louise at info@penelopefitstop.com

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'HOW TO SCORE A RELATIONSHIP GOAL DURING WORLD CUP 2010 - www.eHarmony.co.uk reveals how "the beautiful game" can strengthen your relationship (Summer 2010)

It's here - World Cup 2010, a summer of national football fever stretching ahead of us. Many will be ready to cheer with beer in hand, yet if your spouse is draping the sitting room in their national colours you may well be dreading the imminent onset of "football widowhood" and neglect.

But just because your partner is really into football should you feel emotionally and physically abandoned? No, says Dr. Gian Gonzaga, eHarmony.co.uk relationship expert and Director of Research and Development at eHarmony Labs.

"Everyone has a hobby and the important thing is to not let that hobby come between you as a couple", says Dr. Gian Gonzaga. "There are ways to minimise the feeling of being emotionally abandoned and use this time to actually strength your relationship".

Here are top four tips from eHarmony.co.uk on how not to let the World Cup foul your relationship:

TREAT YOURSELF

While your partner is off spending hours watching the games, get out of the house and treat yourself to things you have wanted to do but keep putting off. If you're out of the house you won't have time to sit around brooding and you'll actually get something accomplished. So whether you have been longing for a few hours to read a book, visit the museum or even take a class, now is your excuse to do it.

BABYSITTING SWAP

If children are involved, make a deal with your partner that if you watch after the children on game days when they are off watching the matches with mates at the pub, some "me time" is owed to you after the games are finished. Score!

THROW A PARTY

Alternate days with friends and host World Cup parties (it keeps pub costs down). By offering to provide the nibbles, you can still spend time with your partner and for those friends who may not be that interested in the matches, you will have company to do other things with. If you have children, it means you won't be the only one having to keep an eye on them. If you're a new couple, it will give you an opportunity to meet more of your partner's friends and possibly get to know the family better as well.

SHOW SOME INTEREST You may have little interest in the game but by simply asking your partner what the lows and highlights of the game were it gives them the opportunity to continue discussing something they are passionate about and lets them know you appreciate their passion

"While it is important for people to share similar interests, there will be times when a partner will have an interest or hobby that isn't necessarily one you enjoy," continued Dr. Gonzaga. "But it doesn't have to drive a wedge between you and could even help you become closer. By allowing your partner to enjoy a hobby, you show you understand their interests. And if you decide to have a party around the events, it shows you are at least trying to get involved. If you're not a fan of the sport now, you might just become one."

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'Appealing for the school of your choice' by Matt Richards, Senior Partner at School Appeals Services (April 2010)

There will be many London based parents who have had the bad news that the school that they were seeking for their child has not been allocated and whether that be a primary or secondary school, and independent appeal system exists to give you as a parent another chance to secure that school place.

Make no mistake the appeal system can be tough and formidable but for a parent who is prepared can mean the difference between getting that much sought after school place or not.

I have been working in the educating field for 20 years and now run the largest Education consultancy in the UK and my company. School Appeals Services assists more than 300 parents a year in their quest for places at the right school.

However, whilst I cannot in a short article teach you the in and outs of admissions law , I can provide some pointers that should help any parent and so I have set out below a simple "To Do" list that I hope will help anyone going through the appeal process.

a) Tasks to be done before your appeal hearing

1) Fill in an appeal form/draft an appeal letter lodging your appeal before the deadline provided by the admission authority.

2) Contact the relevant admission authority/local education authority to ask if awaiting list is being compiled and if not when it will be and how you go about being on that waiting list.

3) Visit your allocated school; discuss any concerns with the school and start making a case as to why this school does not suit your child.

4) Write down your reasons or why your child should attend the school of your choice.

5) Start to collect any supporting evidence that will assist you in the preparation of your case.

6) Commence drafting your grounds of appeal or written appeal statement.

7) Contact the admission authority to ask when the appeal is likely to be heard.

8) Start collecting information from the various sources, the school, Ofsted, web sites, performance tables etc, by drafting letters or making Freedom of Information act requests for this information. (It is at this point that you should review whether you wish to secure any help or assistance with your appeal from a professional).

b) Tasks when you are advised when your appeal date is..

1) Book leave from work to attend the appeal hearing and arrange child care for at least 2 hours before or 2 hours after.

2) Proof check and finalise your written submission.

3) Think about who you will be attending the appeal with.

4) Approximately 10 days before the appeal panel, provide your written case and supporting information to the clerk to the appeal.

5) 7 days before the appeal, check that you have received a copy of all of the evidence and the admission authority case against you.

6) Read the admission authority case and think about the manner in which you can argue against it.

7) Start to think about you will be saying on the day and how you will be saying it.

c) Tasks for the appeal hearing day

1) Allow yourself plenty of time to arrive at the hearing at least 15 minutes in advance of the start time.

2) Be pleasant to everyone and remember it is unlikely that anybody in the room is at fault for the fact that you have not secured a place at your school.

3) Try to remain calm at all times and even if you are late being called for your hearing, do not let this show in the way you deliver your case or behave at the hearing.

4) Ensure that before you leave the hearing you are advised how and when you will hear the result of the hearing.

5) Regardless of how the hearing went make a careful note of what was said to you and by who, concentrating specifically on the things which you believed that were either not in your interest or where you were possibly badly treated by the panel or the presenting officer putting the case against you.

6) Breathe a sigh of relief and wait for the result.

I hope his helps but if you are keen to learn more then please visit our website at www.schoolappeals.com or call us on 020 8523 0887. Please quote this article and you will be eligible for a 10% discount on a number of our services.

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'A mother's six point plan to get from cradle to workplace' by Sherridan Hughes and Yvonne Fox-Bibby (advice for mother's thinking about returning to work after giving birth) (April 2010)

The job market has changed significantly for women in the last twenty years. We are far more likely to go back to work after having a baby and we are also taking less leave, before and after childbirth. Some of us may feel this is due to financial pressures but others may be seeking to minimise interruptions to their careers.

For many mothers, the prospect of returning to work after having children can be a daunting experience for a number of reasons: the trauma of separation from their little ones, the fear of the unknown in terms of workplace developments and even the stress of juggling work and family life.

Our advice aims to help mums across the country be more prepared when returning to work. Whether you're looking to get back into work or you haven't made up your mind yet, the Careers Advice Service can help you. That is why we have developed this six-point plan to help you take those first steps towards getting back into the workplace:

Tip 1: Think about why you want to return to work: Assess your situation and understand your true motivations for returning to work. This will help you to make an informed decision. Carefully consider both the financial and emotional implications surrounding childcare – for example, you may not realise how much you will miss your child, or even end up resenting the carer who is looking after them.

Tip 2: Think about whether it's time for a change: Do you want to return to your previous field or place of employment, or would you like to embark on a brand new career? Don't be put off from exploring new horizons, even if you may doubt your own abilities after time out from the workplace - you'll be surprised at what you can do.

Tip 3: Network, network, network: Use your network of friends, other mothers at your playgroup, and even family members for support. They can all help you keep in touch with what is happening in the workplace. Informal networking works wonders in terms of finding job opportunities.

Tip 4: Pick up new skills through volunteering: Brush up on your existing skills or training to learn new ones can give you a real advantage when you start looking for work and will get you noticed by employers. Volunteering, retraining, or even securing work experience will all help bolster your CV and more importantly, boost your confidence.

Tip 5: Keep up-to-date with what's happening in your industry: Read industry journals and newsletters, attend workshops and keep in touch with workplace changes and trends online to get to grips with what's happening. If you know people in your field, such as former colleagues or even your old boss, you should meet up with them for a coffee. They may well pass on invaluable advice and suggestions.

Tip 6: Don't underestimate yourself: Don't feel scared, or even guilty about going back to work - it is perfectly possible to be a devoted mum AND a successful working woman. Remember that as a busy mum, you have already been honing skills such as budgeting, time management and even negotiating (with your wilful toddler!)

For further advice on our six point plan, you can watch Yvonne's video on youtube: http://www.youtube.com

For free and impartial careers advice, contact the Careers Advice Service on 0800 100 900 or visit us online at www.direct.gov.uk/careersadvice

THE AUTHORS: Sherridan Hughes is an occupational psychologist and career management expert. Yvonne Fox-Bibby is a careers coach at the Careers Advice Service. The Careers Advice Service provides free, impartial and confidential advice for those interested in learning a new skill; who want to find information on different courses or help with finding out about funding options and ways to get started in a new career. The Careers Advice Service is open seven days a week from 8am to 10pm. To speak to a Careers Advice Service adviser call 0800 100 900 or visit www.direct.gov.uk/careersadvice. If you would prefer to speak to someone in person, nextstep provides free careers information and advice to adults face to face. For more details visit: nextstep.direct.gov.uk/

Official Website: www.direct.gov.uk/careersadvice

Twitter: www.twitter.com/careers_advice1

Facebook:http://www.facebook.com/pages/Careers-Advice-Service/202088201941 www.facebook.com

Media hub: http://newmediaroom.careers-advice.org/

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Coping with two! by London Mum and mumpreneur Maggy Woodley, founder of Red Ted Art (April 2010)

We always "knew" we would like more than one child and were lucky enough to fall pregnant, shortly after my first son's first birthday. Resulting in a 21 month age gap. I did sometimes sit there and look at my gorgeous little boy and wonder "why on earth would I want another one, when he is so perfect?!" (of course, I am most horribly bias!). Our main reason is to give him a sibling - so that he has company now and in the future, but also to help him learn to share and not be so dependent on us. Now that Nr 2 is here, it is because Nr 2 is just as lovely and just as perfect?! (again, I am bias!!).

So. Two. Well! I would be lying if I said it was "easy", of course it isn't easy. Especially, since we decided to also Potty Train Nr 1. Children have a funny habit of needing attention at exactly the same time as the other one:

So I am feeding Nr 2 and Nr 1 needs the potty. Or I am feeding Nr 2 and Nr 1 needs to get out of the bath ant into his PJs. Or I am feeding Nr 2 and Nr 1 is helping himself to the fridge. Hang on a minute?! Am I only feeding Nr 2?!?!?!?! No, of course not. But I guess poor Nr 2 is easily neglected at all other times and for me, feeding is the most challenging one, as I really do not want to interrupt her then - you can stop changing a nappy or put her down for a moment when you are cuddling or just leave her sleeping, but I really don't like to stop feeding. Must be the mother instinct: feed and grow. And Nr 1 is very aware of this. So things can get a little stressful, especially if the both decide to cry at once!

Also, I forgot how much a new baby needs you (Nr 2 does like cuddles) and that Nr 1 had in fact got reasonably independent and was very good playing on his own (he has now regressed and no longer likes playing on his own… but with mummy)!

Surprisingly, lack of sleep isn't so much a problem. Mother nature is kind to you when she gives you hormones!

So how am I coping:

1) I tell myself over and over again, that I am not the only one to have to go trough this - millions coped before us, millions are coping now and millions will cope after us

2) I try and sort out Nr 1's needs before I settle down to feed (quick trip to the potty, quick banana, quick cuddle or get a book ready to read to him) and "schedule" feed around Nr 1s day

3) (Unfortunately) TV is being used a little more these days (great to keep Nr 1 still for 10-15min - and as we are a bilingual family, I put a German DVD on and I tell myself at least he is learning German whilst he is at it)

4) New routines. I have had to figure out a new bedtime routine, that fits around both their needs (e.g. evening: we start of with potty, then bath, whilst in bath, Nr 2 gets her evening feed, when that is done, Nr 1 gets out etc etc)

5) I don't worry if things don't get done around the house... so what if the washing is still on the dryer, or the fridge is a little low on fresh food...

6) Nr 1 goes to nursery 1 day a week, so I get a "break" from two.

Oh and I try and remember the upsides (it is so easy to focus on the tricky bits):

1) I have a gorgeous little girl, in addition to my lovely little boy

2) My little boy suddenly is interested in long mummy cuddles again (aaaah)

3) Little boy adores his little sister and gives her kisses and pats her head (aaaah again)

So far so good. I am sure the next months and years will bring many challenges and I am sure I will exclaim "why did we do this" time and time again, but I will try to remember, "they didn't ask to be born", we did and we are blessed with them!

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Here we are/ Hier sind wir! by London Mum and mumpreneur Maggy Woodley, founder of Red Ted Art (March 2010)

So, which is it? Here we are? Or Hier sind wir? Are we English oder Deutsch? Welche Sprache gewinnt? Which language do I speak at home? At weekends? When out?

We are another one of London's thousands of bilingual families. My husband is English (lovingly referred to as the Englishman) and I am Austrian, grew up in Surrey, but had a German education. So I have experienced bilingualism since I was born. Here are 3 case studies: Me. My stepmum. My children.

Me: growing up bilingually worked for me, as the dominant language in my life was German in an English environment – school was German, our au pair girls were German , my father was German (speaking) and I went to Austria on holiday. My English was near to perfect from just living in the country. Interestingly, my brothers went to an English school – and their German really suffered. That taught me Lesson 1:

Lesson 1: the "foreign" language has to be as dominate if possible as the local language will always be learnt easily and can easily overtake.

Lesson 2: having gone to university here, and living here since, my English now dominates. There will always be one language that is stronger and this is perfectly fine!

My stepmum: by coincidence, my stepmothers mother was German. She come over "after the war" and married an Englishman. She spoke German with her daughter (my stepmum) until she was 5 – at which point my stepmum started school and refused to speak it. My "greatgrandmother" didn't push – I think she was of the generation that "assimilated", rather than sticks to their roots.

Lesson 3: children want to be the same as their peers and are v likely to reject the "strange language" that only there mother speaks. Though probably shouldn't force them speak it, you can persevering at speaking "at them". Then at least they learn to understand the language.

My children: these days, the importance of heritage is regarded as very important! And (in my view) language is very important part of heritage and culture. I love being "half Austrian" and enjoy the richness it brings into my life. So I am keen for my children to experience the same. I also believe that growing up bilingually made me more open to other languages and cultures. So bilingualism it is. My children are only 2 yrs and 4 mths, so it is early days. However, already it is challenging - do I only speak German? Do I only speak German if on my own? Etc etc. Luckily my husband is just as keen as I am on our children speaking both language (I think this is key to success).

So this is our approach – doesn't mean it is the "right" or "only" approach!!

1) Create consistency rules of speaking - I speak German when I am on my own. I speak English when I am in English company and a mixture when my husband is around.

2) Company - Seek out other German speakers, so that mummy isn't the only one speaking the strange language and that there is more of an incentive to speak.

3) Holidays - Send them on holidays to German speaking relatives & friends.

4) Schooling - We are seriously considering sending our children to the German School in London (currently doing our sums). This will be the best way to secure that German dominates.

5) Persevere - If they decide they don't want to speak German, fine, but I must go on speaking "at" them in German, combined with holidays abroad, where they can see the "value" of another language, they will at least pick up some of it!

6) Books & DVDs - We have thousands of German books and some DVDs – the DVDs are a great way of easing your conscience when you feel they are watching a bit too much TV – it can't be that bad if they are learning German whilst they are at it?!?!

Time will be the judge on whether our approach works. My son currently understand both languages equally but has a greater vocabulary in English – though it does depend on the topic and who taught him the word first (I was in hospital with my daughter for 2 weeks around the time his vocab kicked off – so there were suddenly lots of new English words learnt from granny..). Will be interesting how this all changes in the years to come! Watch this space!!!

Loved this book on the topic: I liked it, because it wasn't prescriptive, but just gave you lots of case studies of what worked for others!

MAGGY'S RECOMMENDED READING: The Bilingual Family: A Handbook for Parents - by Edith Harding-Esch, Philip Riley.

THE AUTHOR: Maggy Woodley, artist and founder of Red Ted Art - Bringing Art & Colour to Children's Hearts www.redtedart.com

'DETOX YOUR LIFE' by London Mums' founder and editor Monica Costa (February 2010)

Here you our top tips to detox your life in 2010.

GET ORGANISED (SERIOUSLY!)

Do not feel stressed thinking that you might forget essential tasks. Write everything down. We have found a smart and funny diary called Dodo-Pad. This will come handy. Do not feel ashamed of being forgetful. London Mums live in a stressful and intense environment and forgetfulness is in the air. Funny facts about forgetful parents: A survey themed around organisation (or the lack of it) has revealed the somewhat shocking fact that almost one in ten parents has forgotten to pick their own child up from school or a club (9%), proving that the muddled nation is in disarray. The worrying Tickbox survey of 1,383 UK adults (published by organisational stationary specialist Dodo-Pad www.dodopad.com has revealed that the UK is quite disorganised. More than half have forgotten an important date such as a birthday, Valentine's Day or a wedding anniversary (56%). One in ten people have had the cheek to forget their own wedding anniversary and almost four in ten have forgotten a friend's birthday (39%). Other missed dates included hospital appointments, exams and Mother's/Father's Day. With more than four in every ten people admitting that they've lost an important document such as their birth certificate, driving license, passport or tickets (41.5%), it's a wonder how this chaotic country gets by. Three quarters of those surveyed confessed to having a junk drawer where they 'file' or stuff things. And with 58% of people admitting they would find it disastrous if they lost their diary or organiser, it's a concerning state of affairs that more than one in ten (11.5%) have done just that!

DETOX YOURSELF

The book 'DETOX YOURSELF' by JANE SCRIVNER comes handy this month as it provides a very easy-to-follow plan to detox and feel reinvigorated and less forgetful plus more energetic (RRP £7.99). The manual includes deliciously Detoxing recipes for Vegetable Curry, Cumin Spiced Carrot Soup and Pea and Onion soup - all hearty and all perfectly 'on message'. Detox your thoughts on Detox, it's not about 'giving up', 'not allowed' or 'can't have', it's about a new way of fuelling your body and mind..... can you really afford not too? You might be stressed, you may hurt, you could want luxury, you might want maintenance, you may need deep tissue massage, you may need deep penetrating heat from warmed pebbles or refreshing, marble cool temperatures, you might want exfoliation and full body scrub to shed your old skin or you may benefit more from being cocooned in warmth and nourishing muds. You can also buy the amazing JANE SCRIVNER's products and treatments which are simple but effective. They are formulated for their natural and in some cases organic qualities. They work. Used alone or in combination, you should notice a big difference in a very short time.

The best investment to make if you want to start seriously detoxing without stress is to buy a Stellar Power Juicer - the most amazing and essential appliance in the kitchen. It might seem luxury but actually it is really useful and fun to make juices for the kids, getting creative on the combinations of ingredients (carrots with oranges and apples...) - well we received amazing feedback on this item from London Mums and we highly recommended it. STELLAR POWER JUICER, the name is true to its functions. This is a must-have for all families and it works magic involving the kids in inventing recipe for juices, and getting them to eat their 5 a day without fuss. London Mums' product of the month for February 2010 for all who want to start the year with a detox plan in mind.

THE STRESS LESS MIND

If you are A STRESS BOMB and if you feel that stress is controlling you, stressed London Mums have found an easy way to overcome stress. If you do not have the time to go to Georgia Foster 'The Stress less mind' workshop, you can get her book 'The Stress Less Mind - a daily survival guide to staying on top of YOUR LIFE' with hypnosis CD. The method gives stress relief bliss, puts you into a calm state and give you peace - whenever you need it. Mainly it helps mums to find their own permanent way to cope with stress and any anxiety caused by motherhood. Of course, if you have some extra cash to spend Georgia's workshop is wonderful. Forthcoming workshop date is the 6th March 2010. We have been there and tested it. No more stressed London Mums in 2010! Georgia Foster is also author of The Weight Less Mind, The Drink Less Mind, The 4 Secrets of Amazing Sex and Releasing The Writer's Block e-programme. She has clinics in the City and Chiswick. www.georgiafoster.com

GET FIT!

We have asked celebrity fitness guru Dax Moy to give us his top 6 Health & Fitness Predictions of 2010.

1. An increase in 'holistic' health and fitness principles

2010 will be the year when holistic, integrated health and fitness finally makes a comeback with more emphasis on healthy eating and healthier functional-based training programs, rather than the machine-based fitness and faddy quick-fix diets that currently dominate health and fitness. Both mainstream gym memberships and vibrating plate usage will see a downturn and workouts that incorporate bodyweights, free weights and family workouts that allow parents to workout with their younger children will rise in their place. Of course, people will still be taken in by the quick-fix fads, especially in the area of diets, but the trend will show an overall increase in longer term lifestyle improvement interventions that impact directly on the health of families rather than purely aesthetic training. Look out for gyms and personal trainers offering 3, 6, 9 and 12 month 'family interventions' in addition to their usual 6 week drop a dress size programs.

2. Shorter Workouts

People are busy, and perhaps no-one more so than London mums. They're struggling to find time to fit health and fitness into their already hectic daily schedules that often juggle kids and career and are even now actively seeking workouts that are shorter in duration yet still accomplish the same as their marathon 60 and 90 minute gym sessions. 2010 will see the traditional class programs at gyms and health clubs being extended to offer 30-40 minute sessions at higher intensity than current classes offer. Personal trainers too will split their own traditional 1 hour workouts down to 30 minute 'portions' that make it easier for mums to fit shorter workouts of all description and mini-sessions that they can fit in easily on the way home from work or before picking up the kids from school.

3. Small Group Personal Training

Many people are interested in using the services of a personal trainer, yet for many (and especially mums who always put children first), the cost itself is prohibitive to their ability to commit to one for long enough to reap the benefits of their expertise. Enter small group personal training! In 2010 personal trainers will begin to progressively roll out personal training to small groups of 3-4 mums who can share their trainer during a normal training session. This will not be a class format where everyone does the same things to the instructor's command, rather each training to unique, individual plans yet sharing the same location and trainer. The benefit will be personal training of up to 50% cheaper than currently regarded as 'normal' with many more mums able to utilise tailor-made nutritional and exercise protocols. Look out for more friends and even couples working out together in an effort to keep costs lower whilst keeping the experience and results high.

4. An Increase in outdoor 'bootcamp' type workouts

Bootcamps have already been on the rise for the last 2 years so perhaps this prediction isn't exactly an act of clairvoyance, but nonetheless, bootcamp training programs will explode in 2010 as more and more people shift away from their boring and 'sterile' gym-based workouts and toward outdoor workouts that are more fun. Attendees will spend more time running, jumping, lifting and carrying themselves, each other and all manner of weird and wonderful equipment such as logs, barrels and kettlebells and perform more activity in 40 minutes than most will perform all week, making it both a very popular and very effective means of keeping fit and staying in shape. Look out for more and more groups of fitness nutters running around in your local parks, forests and beaches in large groups and gyms that are quieter than usual as a result of the exodus.

5. Increased use of Kettlebells and Indian Clubs in workouts

Kettlebells have been on the scene among the real hardcore fitness enthusiasts for a few years now but still not really made their way into the mainstream and definitely not among mums who tend to be a bit more conservative in their exercise choices. 2010 will change all that with more and more gyms and personal trainers offering kettlebell conditioning workout programs specifically aimed at the 'get my pre baby body back' market and the first mums kettlebell workout DVD's making their way into the stores. In addition, the old 18th century Indian Club will make a return to the fitness stage with, initially, smaller gyms and personal training studios reviving these old tools but more and more finding their way into gyms and health clubs as the year progresses. Look out for cannonballs with handles and large skittles of the weighted variety taking up space in gyms, health clubs and personal training studios with people swinging them in ever-stranger movements and patterns that other weights cannot reach.

6. Increase in 'Spot Reduction' Type Of Workouts and Nutritional Plans

Once thought of as a fitness fallacy, spot reduction has been proven to be more about hormone control than simply working and reworking a body part over and over again. 2010 will see many more fitness professionals offering hormonal control interventions that combine exercise, nutrition, supplementation and lifestyle factors to rapidly remove excess fat from specific sites rather than offering general fitness improvement. This will be particularly appealing to mums who have had their hormonal systems go out of whack during pregnancy and who have struggled to reassert the correct hormone balance after. Look out for personal trainers offering Cortisol control programs, Oestrogen lowering interventions and massive sales in broccoli as indo-carbinol-3 becomes a superhero to those wishing to lose fat.

GO GREEN!

Being greener can help us de-clutter and feel better in our home environment. Recycling is amazing and is good for the world we live in. Art & Craft is a good way of making use of lots of things we don't need any more but could be use in a creative way. If you can't bother to do any art & craft at home just bring cardboard boxes, tea boxes, empty plastic bottles and cereal boxes to nurseries and schools as they use them for their creative tasks. For more tips on how to be green in 2010 just read the bookazine 'The Green Living Guide', which provides useful and simple advice to help you 'Go Green' in the real world and reap the economic benefits of Green Living. The bookazine is almost like a keepsake as you want to go back to that and re-read the advice at some point. The bookazine includes case studies ranging across Low Carbon Building Programmes to Eco School Schemes, plus reviews and recommendations for top Green products and companies, comprehensive directories to help you live green in every aspect of everyday life - including raising a family, and most importantly 100s of money saving tips ideal for achieving sustainable living on a budget. The Green Living Guide is available now from WH Smith, magbooks.com, amazon.co.uk from 27 February for only £7.99 www.magazine-group.co.uk

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'BILINGUAL FOR FUN' by Letizia (January 2009)

www.bilingualforfun.com/

If bilingualism is really important to you, and you really want your child to speak his second language, you should worry about it now, and wait no further, for 5 very god reasons:

1. Once you have established a parent-child communication pattern it's very difficult and painful to change it. Later you might realise you can't face the difficulties of imposing this change to your child, and understandably so.

2. For young children it's normal not to understand when people talk, their vocabulary is limited in either language and they just live with it. Older children have a very good grasp of their first language, hence they lose patience when exposed to a language they don't understand as well and might even refuse it all together.

3. As children grow they become more assertive. A young child might just let you talk no matter what you say, a school aged child is more likely to tell you things like "I don't want to listen to that", "I don't want to see this cartoon in, say Croatian, I want to watch an English one". What will you do then?

4. Young children are more parents focussed but older children give a lot of importance to peers and society in general. The more they grow up the stronger will be their desire to conform. If second language is an optional they might as well drop it.

5. Once they go to school children will be exposed to a very rich majority language input, so unless you have an established pattern for providing rich input also in the minority language the gap between the two languages will grow bigger and bigger by the day.

These are very important, but largely underestimated, points. Most families realise at school age that the bilingualism isn't quite working the way they expected, and don't know what to do about it. "I should have been more careful when he was a baby" is the (useless) mantra!

So if you have young children, make sure you seed bilingualism now and wait no further. Here are few steps you should follow to do it:

1) Avoid switching among languages as much as possible, ideally at all

2) Choose the bilingualism pattern you want to follow and stick to it with consistency

3) Be specific about the pattern you choose, make decisions also about specific situations. Which language will you speak to your child at the playground? Which language when you are with your in-laws? How will you answer to your child when she addresses you in the majority language instead of the minority one?

4) Look for opportunities to meet more children and parents who speak your minority language

5) Read to your child in the minority language, reading is a great way of providing rich language input

You might also find this article useful: 5 ways to react when bilingual children mix languages. www.bilingualforfun.com/

Bilingual For Fun is a blog that focuses on Bilingualism and Language Early Learning, offering parents support, experts' advice and the opportunity to share doubts and best practices. The woman behind Bilingual For Fun is Letizia, who is successfully raising her 2 year old child bilingual in Italian and English in a desperately monolingual society.

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'BRONCHIOLITIS AND CHEST PHYSIOTHERAPHY' by James Turgis, Chartered Physiotherapist with the assistance of Kristina Paliokaite. (December 2009)

Every year the winter time brings respiratory illnesses to our little angels. It is important to know how to react in order to avoid any suprainfection or respiratory complications. One of the most common baby illnesses is bronchiolitis - a contagious viral infection generally due to the RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) which causes inflammation of the small bronchi of the baby's lungs. It is the same virus that gives usual cold symptoms to adult. The bronchiolitis virus stays active on clothes, skin and various objects for 30 minutes; hence it is either transmitted by physical contact or spreads via air. That is the reason why it is important to wash your hands in order to protect your baby well as the hands of the siblings every time they come back from outdoors. You should also avoid bringing your child in overcrowded places or public places as much as possible. And finally, you should sterilize well the toys, pacifier and feeding bottle if you think they could have been contaminated.

Bronchiolitis can be easily recognized, as it manifests itself by a very characteristic development of two distinguishable periods:

During the first period the baby has a runny nose, dry cough and wheezy breathing. During the second period, the baby starts to develop a wet cough due to the increased secretion of mucus. The latter is a response to previous inflammation. Unfortunately young babies do not have a sufficiently strong cough reflex to expel thick mucus, preventing good oxygen supply to the blood. It is a common illness but it needs to be taken seriously because the secretion of mucus can lead to chest infection or respiratory distress with necessity to go to the A&E.

The most efficient cure against this mucus secretion is chest physiotherapy. Chest physiotherapy have been used in France, Europe and USA for many years but only starts to be known in UK.

The aim of chest physiotherapy is to clean baby's lungs and upper airways from the mucus restricting normal breathing, sleep pattern and eating. A chest physiotherapy session starts by a conversation with the parents to determine the frequency of the cough and how the baby is sleeping and eating. After the conversation the physiotherapist listens to baby's lungs with a stethoscope. This will allow to find the location, the amount and the density of the mucus (whether it is thick or fluid). With all this information, the physiotherapist will be able to make a diagnosis and to decide the rhythm, the frequency and the intensity of the massage.

The physiotherapist will start by cleaning the congested nose of the baby with the saline and a small pump. While doing this, he will explain you how to do it yourself, because you will have to repeat it several times during the day.

The physiotherapist will apply one hand on the baby's belly in order to compensate his abdominal weakness and his other hand on his chest. The physiotherapist will follow the baby's respiratory rhythm with the hand on the chest and will accelerate the expiratory flow. This will force the mucus up to the throat. Once the mucus is in the throat, the physiotherapist will stimulate the baby's cough reflex, who will then expel the mucus. Repeating this action will clean baby's lung from the mucus and will allow the normal oxygen flow from lungs to blood.

This technique is efficient and painless for the baby; as the ribcage is still formed of cartilage and is very flexible, allowing the physiotherapist to use this technique without any risk. Cleaning the mucus from the lungs is a big relief for the baby, who will then be able to eat, breathe, and sleep better. Chest physiotherapy will also reduce the length of the illness by more than half, as it will allow the baby to use his energy to fight the illness instead of using it to get rid of the mucus. Apart for bronchiolitis, chest physiotherapy also helps curing all the diseases where there is mucus secretion, such as bronchitis, cold, chest infection, cystic fibrosis, asthma, etc.

Baby Physio is a home visit physiotherapy practice specialising in paediatrics and mainly in respiratory treatment for babies. We work in close relation with most of the private paediatricians in London in order for the patient to have the best follow up. We offer fast, efficient and high quality service. All our physiotherapists specialise in this field, so if you would like more information about our treatments, feel free to call us on 078245537.

We will be glad to answer any of your enquiries. We also treat baby feet deformation, baby stiff neck and baby late development.

To read more about chest physiotherapy or any other of our treatments, or if you want advice about protecting your baby during the winter time, you can also visit our website dedicated to baby www.babyphysio.com

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'YOUR INSIDE GUIDE TO ALL THING'S FASHION - AUTUMN AND WINTER LOOKS AND THE MUST HAVE BUYS THAT BRING THE TRENDS TO LIFE' by Lisa Talbot, Award Winning Personal Stylist is a Personal Stylist (November 2009)

The new season is here and I wanted to tell you about the trends that count now and how you can incorporate them into your existing wardrobe and how they can be worn on their own.

Eighties is back!

It's a fashion flashback for those of us who remember the 80's (me included!). Designers have taken some of the eighties fashion and incorporated it with silks, metallics and stunning extravaganzas. Remember the 80's 'disco' glitter ball?

DISCO BALL

This year we herald the return of the dizzy days of disco dressing.

- Predominantly silver

- Flashy bright short dresses

- In sequins, lame', liquid silks, jet crystals, mirror fabrics and adorned with lacquered ornaments

-Worn with black opaque tights or bare legs.

For the high Street look layer leggings with an off the shoulder sweater dress in a great colour, a glittering tunic top or a tulip skirt.

LEATHER

'Dig out the leather jacket in your wardrobe', LEATHER IS BACK, in every form, the jacket, skirt and if you are brave the dress.

Leather looks fabulous if you team it with a different fabric item ie; a soft wool jumper or suede boots instead of leather. Adding a different fabric softens the look of the leather.

The Blazer

The 'boyfriend' blazer is a super look, all the shops have these from Primark, Ted Baker to Austin Reed. All with different price tags. Opt for one that is not too long and that nips in at the waist to create the look. These look super with a white shirt, jeans and great accessories.

KNITS

I LOVE THE WINTER - There are always so many fantastic knits and this season is no exception. There are patterned, structured, sloppy, sleek and beautifully decorated knits in all our shops. There is a piece of knitwear for everyone's body shape. And there are some fabulous colours too to suit all skin tones.

THE CAMEL COAT

If you are going to buy anything this Autumn/Winter then it has to be the 'camel coat', it really will be your best investment buy.

KILLER SHOULDERS

We are in the grip of 'shoulder mania'.

- Architectural sub-structures that create a pointed and polished silhouette.

Formidable shape and razor sharp shoulder padding return

-Fussy and overly embellished we hope they are distilled for the high street.

This look is very dramatic but be careful if you are broader on the shoulders as they will emphasize them. A small shoulder pad will achieve the look just as well. Also if you add a small shoulder pad to any knitwear it allows the fabric to hang.

KING KONG - FUR

Gorilla styling now has a totally new meaning.

- Think Siberian chic: dresses with fur sleeves and monkeys as neck warmers.

-Huge feasts of fluff and hair adorn short-cropped coats often made of brushed goat hair.

-In a multitude of vibrant colours

This is a great sexy glamour, relaxed look this season. You can add a little or alot of fur it depends how brave you are and your body proportions.

PLEATS PLEASE

Crumpled paper pleats that look effortlessly chic, but get the pleat wrong and you date your look.

Deep grooves that act as features, ornament and embellishment, not construction

This trend it about geometry meeting crumpled chaos

Look for envelope folds , furrowed pleats that look like poured concrete.

MUTED BLUE

Rich red, mouse, rust, ochre, putty, mustard, curry brown and black appear but the standout colour of the moment is Blueberry:

Pale petrol blue, teal and muted blue-greys

Deep and rich pigment both subtle and muted.

APPLAUD THE COLLAR

The Stand Up Collar a classic line is tricky to tailor and signifies a skill and involvement lacking in recent years.

- Bright, colourful, exaggerated and embellished this is not the simple clean line of yesteryear.

- Large, proud and upright collars

Some in fur for warmth and others demure versions in a sombre palette.

DETAILS

JEWELLERY OF THE MOMENT: Huge chain-link necklaces

CLOTHING DETAIL: Stand up collar, high contrast combinations, pleats and folds

EMBELLISHMENT: Bows are big: think Alice magnified 100 times

CLOTHING LINE: Shoulder padding or leg-of-mutton sleeves

MAKEUP: Pale skin and rouged lips

FOOTWEAR: Lather waders

ACCESSORY: Gloves, gauntlets and fur wristbands

HOISERY : Lots of lovely patterns - Stripes, checks, swirls with lace or opaque

The Must haves's:

Black Trousers

A white shirt

Straight/Pencil skirt

Dark Jeans ( more classic than a light denim )

Blazer

You can then add the extra items to the above items to build the capsule wardrobe, for example; a sparky top, a tank top, a fine knit jumper, a tunic.

THE AUTHOR: Lisa Talbot, Award Winning Personal Stylist is a Personal Stylist who specialises in helping women and men with their Image and Style. Lisa can help you get a better understanding of the colours, shapes and textures that will suit you, then apply that to your lifestyle and budget to help you develop a new wardrobe. www.lisatalbot.co.uk

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'ALLERGIC RHINITIS IN CHILDREN' by Adam Fox (November 2009)

Typical features of allergic rhinitis are blocked, itchy and runny nose, sneezing and itchy eyes. However, in more severe cases they cause disturbed sleep, lethargy, sinusitis and glue ear. Whilst often being thought of as a problem of adulthood, allergic rhinitis is becoming increasingly common in children, affecting around 10% of 6-7 year olds. As allergic rhinitis has become more common over time it is also affecting increasingly young children. It is particularly common in children with asthma with around 50-80% of asthmatics also suffering from allergic rhinitis.

Although symptoms of allergic rhinitis are not life threatening they can have detrimental effects on the physical, psychological and social aspects of patient's lives. That allergic rhinitis can significantly decrease quality of life is often under-recognised by physicians and non sufferers alike. Symptoms of rhinitis and the associated effect on the quality of sleep have significant effects on a child's ability to perform well at school. Even uncomplicated hayfever may be associated with reduced ability to learn. This is a particular concern given that the timing of public examinations may coincide with the grass pollen season. A study comparing adolescents' examination performance during 'mock' examinations (conducted in winter) with formal examinations in spring/summer revealed that having current symptomatic hayfever was associated with a remarkable 50% increase in the risk of dropping an exam grade between winter and summer.

Frustratingly, whilst even severe rhinitis can be effectively treated, most patients often receive bad advice resulting in unnecessary suffering.

The lost effective way to reduce symptoms is by avoiding the problem allergen. When it is unclear what this is, allergy testing can be very helpful. The most common cause of year round symptoms (or those that are worse in the winter) is dust mite. Dust mites are tiny, spider like creatures, invisible to the naked eye. They like warm moist environments such as bedding and soft furnishing. They eat human skin particles and it is their droppings that cause allergic problems. If allergy to dust mite is causing rhinitis (or asthma or eczema) then reducing exposure to them will help. The most useful measure is getting special covers for the mattress and bedding.

These prevent the faecal particles getting up the nose while sleeping. It is essential to get the right covers, which are properly tested as being effective. A good example would be Allerguard (www.allerguard.co.uk). Other measures include reducing soft toys and furnishings and regular damp dusting. Replacing carpet with hard floors is some help but the effect is quite limited. Unfortunately, with hay fever, there is much less that can be done to avoid pollen. Pollen filters in cars, wrap-around sunglasses and nightly hair washes (to prevent transfer of pollen from the hair to the pillow) all may help. Some people find it helpful to apply Vaseline around the nose to act as a 'pollen trap' or to rinse their noses with salty water. However, in many cases, this is not enough and medication may be required.

The mainstay of treatment for most cases of hay fever is antihistamines. It is essential that the correct time of antihistamines are used. Commonly, when buying over the counter, short acting, sedating antihistamines (such as Piriton) are used which have limited beneficial effect and can worsen the tiredness already cause by the hay fever. Ideally, long-acting, non-sedating antihistamines (such as loratidine or cetirizine) should be used. If symptoms persist then there are many over the counter nasal sprays which are also helpful. Whilst these do contain steroids, it is only a tiny quantity and they have been shown to be very safe. Unfortunately, whilst anti-histamines and steroid nasal sprays are enough for most cases, they are not for everyone. However, for more specialist treatment a referral to an allergist would be required. An allergist can confirm exactly what the allergic cause of the problem is and also offer the option of 'immunotherapy'.

Immunotherapy is the practice of administering gradually increasing doses of an allergen extract (eg pollen) in order to reduce the symptoms of hayfever or asthma that it causes. It was first carried out almost 100 years ago and is now in widespread use around the world. It is sometimes referred to as 'allergy vaccination' or 'desensitisation'. Until recently, immunotherapy involved having a series of injections (subcutaneous immunotherapy) over a period of three to five years. Injections needed to be given in hospital and close observation was required for an hour after each 'shot', because of a small risk of a severe allergic reaction. Recent advances have meant that immunotherapy can now be given without injections. Instead, the allergen extract is given under the tongue either by tablets or drops (Sublingual Immunotherapy). This method is very safe and means that injections are not needed. However, it needs to be taken on a daily basis.

Sublingual immunotherapy can be used to reduce allergy to the grass or tree pollens that cause hayfever. Most children receiving treatment report an improvement in symptoms and less medication use. Sublingual immunotherapy against year round allergens such as house dust mites, cat or dog can also help in reducing the symptoms of allergic rhinitis and asthma but is only available from a limited number of very specialist centres. Using sublingual immunotherapy from an early age may actually prevent new allergies developing and reduce the likelihood of getting asthma at all, which is particularly exciting, especially as children with hayfever are at very high risk of developing asthma in later life.

In summary, allergic rhinitis is often considered to be a trivial problem but it is becoming much more common in children and may significantly impact their daily life. Whilst over the counter treatments may be enough for many people, there are more specialist treatment that can really help even the most severe cases.

THE AUTHOR: Dr Adam Fox, MA(Hons), MSc, MB, BS, DCH, FRCPCH, Dip Allergy, FHEA

Adam Fox is one of the UK's few specialist Paediatric Allergists and is a consultant at Guy's & St Thomas' Hospitals, London - the Europe's largest specialist children's allergy centre. Adam sees thousands of children with severe allergies every year in his NHS and private practise. He is also actively involved in research, particularly in the area of food allergy, and has published numerous scientific papers. He was named 'Paediatric Allergist of the Year' by the charity Allergy UK in 2007 and acts as an advisor to Babycentre, Advertising Standards Agency, the Anaphylaxis Campaign, Annabel Karmel and Dorling Kindersley as well as lecturing around the world. He can be contacted through his website www.adamfox.co.uk

Dr Fox recommends AllerGuard, a new, revolutionary range of anti allergy bedding in the UK which has been statistically proven to drastically reduce symptoms of asthma, ezcema and rhinitis caused by allergy to the house dust mite. Exposure to dust mites is a major cause of asthma and allergy - especially in children - and it is important to protect your childs immune system right from the start by protecting against harmful allergens. Contact AllerGuard UK for more information: Website: www.allerguard.co.uk - Email: info@allerguard.co.uk - Tel: 020 8886 2821 - AllerGuard UK exhibited at the Allergy & Gluten Free Show 2009 and was recommended as the Number 1 brand in allergen proof bedding!

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'READING, BABIES AND TODDLERS' by Rod Campbell, author of 'Dear Zoo' (November 2009)

We all rather take reading for granted, because we can and it's second nature to us. We seldom think about how we came to read in the first place and how important reading is to us in our daily lives.

I think all parents subscribe to the desire to give their children the best they can, and one of the best gifts one can give a child is to prepare him or her for learning to read and this should start really early - in fact as soon as the baby takes an interest in the world around him and can focus on nearby objects. Of course we're not talking about giving babies a picture book to look at, but rather say a simple cloth book with no hard edges, to touch and look at (and chew!), and to turn the pages.

As they get a little older, small books with touch and feel elements are appropriate, but what is absolutely essential of course is that parents share the book with the baby and talk about what they are seeing. As they get older, books of photographs of familiar objects are good for naming and it is at this stage that sharing and talking begin to have a profound importance. www.myschoolbookclub.com

Babies are little human computers and more is going in than we appreciate sometimes!

They soon pick up on words they hear repeated, and for the pre-reader carefully selected books used with parental involvement help to develop language and prepare the child for reading, as well as introducing them to, and explaining the world around them.

At toddler stage it really is a good idea to spend a little time each day with your child to share a book together, preferably with one they have chosen, and make it a time of questions and answers, conversation, shared intimacy and fun!

By this stage they will be used to books and will look forward to your shared book time together. A well-known reading expert said many years ago that the key to learning to read is what the child brings to the page, and it is exactly these shared moments of looking and talking that stirs the child's imagination and creates the vocabulary that they will be seeing on the printed page and will learn to decipher.

Using books with a very simple, rhyming or repetitive text, you can 'read' the book with your child by following the words on the page with a finger as you say them. Often the child will know the text by heart (groans from parent when child chooses to read a book for the hundreth time!) and will take enormous pleasure in pretending to know how to read. This is where the leap into reading really starts, due in large part to all your time, enthusiasm and shared pleasure that has gone before.

It's difficult to know which books to choose at this early stage, and I have been daunted myself when confronted by the hundreds of books published today. Which are the good ones? I have always felt that pre-selection by people who know is a good thing and was pleased to be asked to be involved in a book club which does just that and offers only the best books available (classics and newly published) and at high discounts so buying several won't break the bank!

READING CAMPAIGN: Rod Campbell is a spokesperson for My School Book Club, the newly launched online book service for parents, children and schools at www.myschoolbookclub.com

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'SAFE BABY SKINCARE ADVICE' by Midwife Sharon Trotter (November 2009)

QUESTION: Can you give me some advice on the safest way to look after my baby's skin during the early weeks of life?

Since 1996 I have advised parents to follow a simple baby skincare regime and the overwhelming reaction has been positive. The condition of newborn skin has been excellent when using water only for the first month. Rashes, spots and cradle cap are rare. Once introduced carefully chosen mild products are tolerated well.

Recent research suggests that it is safer to bath your baby in plain water for at least the first month of life.

At birth, the top layer of your baby's skin is very thin and absorbent. This means it is more sensitive to damage from germs, chemicals and water loss. Over the first month (longer in premature infants) your baby's skin matures and develops its own natural protective barrier. Skin conditions may develop if this natural barrier is damaged.

Remember that anything placed on, in or around your baby has the potential to harm.

The following advice is taken from the Babycare –back to basics leaflet. To give your baby the best start in life my key recommendations include:

1. Wash your hands before and after carrying out any baby care

2. Open cordcare is now recommended. There is no need to use antiseptic wipes or powders - top'n'tail your baby until the cord has separated

3. Use water only for baby skincare for at least the first month of life

4. Once introduced, read the labels of all products and avoid products containing sulphates (SLS and SLES), parabens, phthalates, artificial colours and perfumes.

5. Breastfeeding your baby will strengthen their immune system

6. Do not overload your washing machine. This will help to avoid a build up of chemical residues on clothing from washing powders.

7. Cloth nappies are as efficient as disposables and do not present a higher risk of napkin rash. They are also kinder to the environment.

8. Use a thin layer of barrier cream on the napkin area to help protect against the development of napkin rash. Ideally this should be free from preservatives, colours, perfumes, antiseptics, and clinically proven to be effective in the treatment of nappy rash.

9. Massage oils should be vegetable based and free from mineral oils, perfume and colours. If there is a history of nut allergies in your family you should also avoid nut-based oils. Contact a qualified baby massage therapist and ask for their advice on suitable oils.

THE AUTHOR: Sharon Trotter is a Midwife with over 24 years of professional experience. Sharon specialises in breastfeeding and baby skincare. Her work on baby skincare has helped to change NHS policy within maternity units nationwide and her book 'Breastfeeding: the essential guide' is a top-10 best seller. For detailed information on baby skin care and to access your free copy of Sharon's award winning leaflet 'Baby care: back to basics' visit: www.tipslimited.com

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'THE BIG THREE: TANTRUMS, FUSSING AND WHINING' by Elizabeth Pantley, international parenting guru and author of 'The No-Cry Discipline Solution' (October 2009)

If you ask parents to list the most frustrating discipline problems during the early childhood years, you would find that these three items appear on every parent's list. They are so common that I refer to them as The Big Three. All children master their own version of these behaviors, some are more talented in one area over another, and they appear and disappear at various ages and stages - but every parent has to deal with them!

CONTROLLING THEIR EMOTIONS

Most often tantrums, fussing and whining are caused by a child's inability to express or control his emotions. When a child is stressed in any way he's more likely to lose control. Tiredness, hunger, boredom, frustration and other causes that ignite The Big Three can frequently be avoided or modified. The best way to use this knowledge is to watch your child carefully. When she begins a meltdown, try to determine if you can tell what underlying issue is causing the problem. Is it past naptime? Is she due for a snack? Is the puzzle too much beyond her ability level? Solve the base problem and you'll help your child gain control of her emotions.

HANDLING TANTRUMS, FUSSING AND WHINING

No matter how diligent you are in recognizing trigger causes, your child will still have meltdown moments. Or even meltdown days. Children are human beings, after all. Young humans, without the experience and wisdom that will grow over time. And all children need the guidance of a strong adult to help them gain this experience and wisdom - they can't do it on their own. The following tips can help you handle those inevitable bumps in the road along the way. Be flexible and practice those solutions that seem to bring the best results for your child in any given situaiton.

GET EYE-TO-EYE

When you make a request from a distance, yelling from room-to-room, your child will likely ignore you, if he hears you at all. Noncompliance creates stress, which leads to fussing and tantrums - from both of you. Instead, go to your child, get down to his level, look him in the eye and make a clear, concise request. This will catch his full attention. Plus, you will know that he really did hear you and can get him to verify that he understands what you need him to do.

TELL HIM WHAT YOU DO WANT

Avoid focusing on misbehavior and what you don't want him to do. Children hear far to many Nos, Don'ts and Stops. These negative words bring more resistance from your child. Instead, explain exactly what you'd like your child to do or say in a positive, specific way. It gives him simple instructions to follow. So instead of saying, "Stop bickering over your toys!" a better choice is, "I'd like the two of you to find a fair way to share your toys."

OFFER THE FREEDOM OF CHOICES WITHIN LIMITS

You may be able to avoid problems by giving your child more of a say in his life. Children crave independence, yet we must remain in control of this growing need. You can do this by offering choices between two or three things that you will accept. Instead of saying, "Put your coat on right now," which may provoke a tantrum, offer a choice, "What would you rather do, wear your coat or bring along a sweatshirt?" Children who are involved in their own decision making are often happily cooperating without even realizing it!

VALIDATE HIS FEELINGS

Help your child identify and understand her emotions. Give words to her feelings, "You're sad. You want to stay here and play. I know." This doesn't mean you must give in to her request, but letting her know that you understand her problem may be enough to help her calm down. Follow the validation with a brief explanation and instructions, "The bus leaves soon, so take one last turn down the slide before we leave."

TEACH THE QUIET BUNNY

When children get worked up, their physiological symptoms keep them in an agitated state. They become tense, their breathing becomes rapid, and their adrenaline shuts down the thinking part of their brains. You can teach your child how to relax and gain control of his feelings. Once he knows how to do this you can encourage him to practice it whenever the fussing begins.

It can be helpful to start each morning or end each day with a brief relaxation session to help your child master the skill. (It's a good one for parents, too!) Have your child sit or lie comfortably with eyes closed. Tell a story that he's a Quiet Bunny. Name body parts one at a time (feet, legs, tummy, etc.) and have your child wiggle the part bunny-like, and then relax it. "Feel your bunny feet. Wiggle them around. Now let them be quiet and still."

Since your child cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time this physical relaxation process can help him learn to find his inner calm. Once your child is familiar with this process you can call upon it at times when he is agitated. Crouch down to your child's level, put your hands on his shoulders, look him in the eye and say, let's do our Quiet Bunny. And then talk him through the process. Over time, just mentioning it and asking him to close his eyes will bring relaxation.

DISTRACT AND INVOLVE

Children can easily be distracted when a new activity is suggested. If your child is whining or fussing try viewing it as an "activity" that your child is engaged in. Since children aren't very good multi-taskers you might be able to end the unpleasant activity with the recommendation of something different to do.

INVOKE HIS IMAGINATION

If a child is upset about something, it can help to vocalize his fantasy of what he wishes would happen: "I bet you wish we would win a contest and get to take home every toy in this store." This can become a fun game where you both add to the fantasy and create a funny scene that has your child laughing instead of fussing.

USE THE PREVENTIVE APPROACH

Review desired behavior prior to leaving the house, or when entering a public building, or before you begin a playdate. This might prevent the whining or tantrum from even beginning. Put your comments in the positive (tell what you want, not what you don't want) and be specific. It may help to keep the top points written down on paper so that you can have a quick reminder when needed.

WHEN IT'S OVER, IT'S OVER

After an episode of misbehavior is finished you can let it go and move on. Don't feel you must teach a lesson by withholding your approval, love or company. Children bounce right back, and it is okay for you to bounce right back, too.

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: Parenting educator Elizabeth Pantley is president of Better Beginnings, Inc., a family resource and education company. Elizabeth frequently speaks to parents at schools, hospitals, and parent groups around the world. Her presentations are received with enthusiasm, and praised as realistic, warm and helpful. She is a regular radio show guest and frequently quoted as a parenting expert in newspapers and magazines such as Parents, Parenting, American Baby, Woman's Day, Good Housekeeping, and Redbook and on hundreds of parent-directed Web sites. She publishes a newsletter, Parent Tips, which is distributed in schools nationwide. Elizabeth is the author of eight popular parenting books, available in 18 languages, and she was a contributing author to The Successful Child with Dr. William and Martha Sears. Elizabeth and her husband, Robert live in the state of Washington , along with their four children, Angela, Vanessa, David, and Coleton, and "Grama." Elizabeth is an involved participant in her children's school and sports activities and has served in positions as varied as softball coach and school PTA president. If you want more info her website is www.pantley.com.

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'BRINGING UP BABY IN MULTILINGUAL LONDON' by Sue Atkins, parenting guru and author (October 2009)

London is a melting pot and London parents face the challenge of bringing up children in a multilingual and multicultural environment. Parenting coach Sue Atkins explains why we should take advantage of Multilinguism early on

Like anything in life a child will enjoy learning another language if their parent is involved, values the experience and supports them. I will always remember a lovely little boy who joined my Reception class unable to speak English as his family was Polish. He just picked it up so quickly, was keen to interact with the other children and he learnt to read just like all the other children - even though his Mum took much longer!

I think the earlier a family starts the easier it is as learning a foreign language for babies and toddlers:

1) Familiarises babies with the rhythm of other languages.

2) Stimulates the part of the brain that processes language, with proven benefits for development of language.

3) Provides fun way for babies and parents to bond, as they watch and listen for new words together.

Foreign language for toddlers and preschoolers:

a) They begin to pick up the vocabulary and use it in everyday speech.

b) Toddlers realise every English word has an equivalent in another language, which fosters greater cognitive abilities.

c) They develop a better accent and think that foreign language learning is fun!

A recently published report commissioned by Michael Thomas, the Hollywood language teacher who has taught celebrities such as Doris Day, Emma Thompson and Woody Allen, highlights some interesting benefits brought to those who learn a foreign language. According to the report, Britons who learn a foreign language are richer, happier and are regarded as sexier than those who can only speak English.

People who learn a foreign language earn an extra £3,000 a year - a total of £145,000 over their lifetime. Companies are prepared to pay workers earning the national average of £25,818 as much as 12% more if they speak or learn a foreign language. For higher earners, the figures are even more startling. Those earning £45,000 could see a potential cash boost of 20%, amounting to an extra £9,000 a year or £423,000 over a lifetime.

In addition, a survey of 270 dating agencies found that people who learn or speak a foreign language are also more attractive to the opposite sex. Britons who speak a foreign language were rated more highly because they are easier to match with partners as they are considered to be more intelligent and sexier.


So for those who could do with some more dispensable income and a more exciting romantic life the message is clear, learn a foreign language!

But the benefits to children are:

Language development

Language learning, far from interfering with language development as was once thought, stimulates its development, and gains can be detected right across the curriculum. Teachers that I have talked to admit that there can sometimes be confusion, when a child offers a foreign word or spelling in place of English, but they point out that all learners of all abilities do that sometimes. It is part of the learning experience. Sorting out the confusion gives the teacher opportunities to clarify points not just about the target language but about the source language as well.

Conceptual development

Hand in hand with linguistic development goes understanding of concepts. Going back to the basics of language learning gives the child an opportunity to revisit concepts which, for one reason or another, may have been missed or poorly understood up to that point in their own language.

Speech development

Articulation can be practised just as well through the medium of a foreign language as in the mother tongue. Close listening, imitation and repetition which can seem boring or demeaning in the mother tongue become more attractive in the foreign language where students have the sense of participating in something new and exciting, and where everyone expects to experience difficulty with pronunciation.

Social development

Interaction with others is an essential part of communication. Working with others in paired speaking tasks or games in the foreign language provides opportunities to practise turn-taking and other social skills in a new environment. Students are often less self-conscious about shaking hands and greeting someone formally, for example, than they would be if asked to do the same thing in English.

Cultural awareness

The experiences associated with learning about other countries can be a wonderful experience for children and broaden their minds and expectations. Learning about other peoples, their language and their way of life, whether in the classroom or by travelling abroad, can be an illuminating experience for some youngsters. Becoming aware that life is different in other countries leads to a realisation that things can be different, that things can change.

Please send your questions for Sue and share your experiences on multilingual London by emailing monica@londonmums.org.uk

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: Sue Atkins is a parent coach and her company is Positive Parents Confident Kids.

She is a former Deputy Head with 22 years teaching experience and is an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. As well as being a parent coach, Sue is a parent of two teenagers and the author of numerous books, her latest being "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the famous black and yellow series. Chapter 13 covers helping your child cope with bigger issues, such as death and dying. Positive Parents works with parents to fine-tune their parenting skills via a range of toolkits, such as 'How to be a brilliant parent', 'Positive toddler taming' and 'Parenting made easy', runs one-to-one coaching sessions, workshops and seminars. Sue's favourite phrase is "because kids don't come with a handbook". If you want more info her website is www.positive-parents.com.

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'BALANCING THE BOARDROOM AND THE BROOD - PRACTICAL TIPS TO MAKE THIS POSSIBLE' by Sue Atkins, parenting guru and author (September 2009)

Working parents have a range of options available to help physically balance their work and family lives, but a leading parenting expert says that these enough when it comes to raising a happy well-balanced family. The Work and Families Act 2006 increased the range of employment rights for parents and carers, but these only cover the practical side of parenting, such as flexible working to ease the time management issues that parents face. Parenting expert and author, Sue Atkins of Positive Parents = Confident Kids, says that employers rarely acknowledge the really important, and often totally neglected emotional side to parenting.

"The real issue facing working parents is the emotional effect of being away from their family for long periods of time, and their feelings of guilt," says Sue Atkins. "From the parents that I coach, and the increasing number of these who are high-flying career women, it is apparent that they battle with their emotional feelings when trying to balance a successful working life with a harmonious family life. The biggest issue raised is that they cannot get their employers to acknowledge the emotional difficulties they are facing."

Survey results issued in May 2009 by the Chartered Institute of Professional Development (Employee attitudes and the recession, Quarterly survey report - Spring 2009 www.cipd.co.uk)showed that the majority of UK employees (54%) agree they have a good work/life balance, but a third (34%) say that their employer did not provide any support in achieving a work/life balance. "This data reflects what I am finding when I coach working parents. Whilst many forward-thinking organisations provide business coaching for guidance through important work transitions, rarely do these employers provide the same level of support or acknowledgement of the emotional difficulties experienced from family issues at home. If the employer isn't recognising the difficulties or addressing these problems then what can parents do?"

Sue Atkins has this practical, effective and helpful advice to ease balancing the boardroom and the brood and make being a working parent easier, more rewarding and far more enjoyable all round:

1. Stop feeling guilty that you are a working parent - turn down that inner voice that says "Good mums stay at home with their kids" and replace it with one that says: "I'm doing my best and I love my kids".

2. Get the best childcare you can afford - You don't want to spend time at work worrying about your child so see a range of nurseries, childminders or nannies and find the one that feels intuitively right for you and your child.

3. Let your standards slip - even if you find this really hard, acknowledge that you can't work and have a perfect home. If you can afford it, get help with practical tasks such as the ironing and cleaning.

4. Reduce morning stress - The Cornflake Hour... get everything ready the night before - packed lunch, clean uniform, homework done, spellings, etc. Don't waste valuable time hunting for, and doing, things at the last minute.

5. Focus on the positive - When you've had a bad day make a list of the positive reasons you go to work and think of what a good day is. When everything goes well, write down what you liked best. These lists will give you balance and a different and wider perspective.

"A parent's idea of balance is likely to change with time, circumstance and stage of life. It's important to stay focused on what is important in your own life and family circumstances as everyone is different and unique in what they want out of life. When at work, be there 100% in attitude, energy and commitment, and don't worry about what needs doing at home. Likewise, when at home, don't start worrying about the to-do list for the next day at work. Of course parents can work and raise happy, confident well-balanced children, but naturally some parents could benefit from more support than others," says Sue Atkins.

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: Sue Atkins is a parent coach and her company is Positive Parents Confident Kids.

She is a former Deputy Head with 22 years teaching experience and is an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. As well as being a parent coach, Sue is a parent of two teenagers and the author of numerous books, her latest being "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the famous black and yellow series. Chapter 13 covers helping your child cope with bigger issues, such as death and dying. Positive Parents works with parents to fine-tune their parenting skills via a range of toolkits, such as 'How to be a brilliant parent', 'Positive toddler taming' and 'Parenting made easy', runs one-to-one coaching sessions, workshops and seminars. Sue's favourite phrase is "because kids don't come with a handbook". If you want more info her website is www.positive-parents.com.

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'JUST FOR KICKS!' by Ryan Baker, Former Director of Coaching for Little Kickers (September 2009)

In the last half decade, preschool sports activity programs have grown exponentially giving London mums a plethora of choice when it comes to finding the right program for their children. A quick Google search will give you an idea of the options in your area which may include swimming, gymnastics, rugby and football. All of these programs can offer a great start in sport and children can reap the long term rewards of regular physical activity but it is football that will be the focus of this piece.

There is a certain passion about football supporters in England that is rarely seen in other sports. Hang out around any football stadium on a match day and you will see the joy that football can bring to grown men and women. Look no further than the sidelines of your local pre-school soccer class to see the purest of joy that it also brings to tots as they navigate their football through a set of cones to score their weekly goals much to the delight of a raucous crowd of mums and dads.

The most important thing that coaches and parents must always remember is that, at this age, the focus must always be on having fun. If children are smiling and enjoying themselves they will almost certainly develop at a greater rate and learn the game effortlessly. In a well run weekly football program, children will develop their balance, coordination, speed, agility, and touch. Children at this age should be given the opportunity to engage in self-initiated play and should be able to 'play' at their own pace. Only in these circumstances will children get the utmost benefit.

Quite simply, the more touches a child gets on a football, the more comfortable (and better!) they will become. Repetition is paramount at this age as children will benefit from every single touch of the ball. The trick is giving the children a purpose and firing their imaginations so that they want to play! If you tell a group of 2-3 year olds to simply kick a ball for 45 minutes, you will be surrounded by a group of bored and inactive toddlers within minutes. If you tell them that you are going on an Easter Egg hunt and that they need to get all of the eggs (footballs) into the baskets (goals) they are far more likely to participate and enjoy themselves.

In a broad sense, coaching pre-school aged children to play football should involve striking a football (power and accuracy), dribbling a football (direction and touch), and stopping a football (control). With these basic skills learnt, and plenty of time to practice (play!) these fleet footed rising stars will be a step ahead of the game when it comes time to play competitive or club football.

Having coached Little Kickers for a number of years, I can say that the program embodies the above and would recommend it highly. For more information about classes in your area you can check out www.littlekickers.co.uk.

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'HOW TO SURVIVE SEPARATION' by Amandeep Gill is a Solicitor, Mediator and Collaborative Lawyer at London law firm Davenport Lyons (September 2009)

A recent study published by the University of Chicago found that widowed and divorced people are more likely to suffer from chronic health problems in later life. The stress of a messy divorce it seems carries with it a serious health warning. Separation however does not need to be acrimonious and bitter. Here's how ...

TELLING THE CHILDREN

Separation and divorce can be stressful enough for adults and even more so for children. Where possible both parents should sit down together with the children to provide a neutral and age appropriate explanation of the changes that will be taking place. Parents should try to agree what children will be told in advance and be available afterwards to answer any questions. This process is often easier once parents have come to terms with their own emotions concerning the separation. The universal message which will reassure children is that they will always be loved by both parents and that they will continue to spend regular periods of time with both Mum and Dad.

SUPPORT NETWORK

Research into relationship breakdown has shown that the emotions experienced upon separation and divorce are similar to those experienced during bereavement. But there are a number of support groups for divorcing and separated couples which can help. Talking to likeminded people who are going through or have been through similar experiences, can help you come to terms with strong emotions experienced at the end of a significant relationship.

MAINTAINING COMMUNICATION

Communication between separating couples is generally fraught and difficult. However, maintaining some communication is usually necessary. Arrangements often need to be made for children to see a parent who has moved out of the family home. Finances also need to be discussed. Try to keep communication about children and financial matters separate and avoid recriminations. Immediately after separation, most couples find it easier to communicate at arms length by email or text message rather than in person or by telephone. This helps to avoid arguments developing.

MEDIATION / FAMILY THERAPHY

Immediately after separation direct dialogue can be stressful although a neutral third party can often help. A professional mediator will be able to facilitate dialogue between separated couples and help them to resolve issues concerning finances and children which may arise. There are a number of mediation services available nationally. The role of the mediator is to act as an independent and impartial intermediary who helps couples to reach a consensus which is tailor made to their particular circumstances.

COLLABORATIVE LAW

Some couples want to be supported by a lawyer in discussions with their former partner. This can be achieved through collaborative law where the couple and their respective lawyers agree to collaborate in a series of meetings to resolve issues without resorting to legal proceedings. The couple can be supported in this process by counsellors and independent financial advisers, as well as having the benefit of legal advice throughout. Provided there is goodwill between the couple, agreement can often be reached and stressful expensive Court cases avoided. The collaborative model also helps to preserve good relations, which is invaluable, particularly where there are young children involved and many years of parenting ahead.

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SKIN SPECIALISTS RECOMMENDATIONS BY LONDON MUMS TO CELEBRATE NATIONAL ECZEMA WEEK 2009 (19 - 27 September)

London Mum Aglinda Hoxha from North London asked us recommendations on how to treat eczema and any Dermatologist in London. As it is National Eczema week this month (19 - 27 September) we have gathered advice and information for you on this subject.

FACTS & STATS: Clinical evidence indicates that currently at least 25% of babies suffer from atopic eczema and 1 in 3 have sensitive skin, up from 4% 60 years ago (Professor Michael J. Cork, PH.D.MB, BSc. FRCP, Professor in Dermatology, Head of Academic Dermatology, University of Sheffield, UK). Around one in six children and between two and 10 percent of adults has eczema. Eczema is the skin's reaction to an allergy or irritant that causes the skin to become red and itchy and sometimes inflamed or thick and scaly. The skin's surface is made up of a thick layer of dead skin cells to protect the body from infection and injury. The skin also makes a thick, oily liquid called sebum, which helps the skin stay moist. For people who suffer with eczema, the top layer of skin starts to get dry and flake away when scratched, allowing bacteria and irritants, such as dust or chemicals, into the skin. Scratching the skin can make it bleed, which can then make the condition worse. Washing the skin with soap can also remove the sebum leaving the skin feeling dry. Cold or dry weather can also play a part in causing eczema flare-ups.

NEW PRODUCT that might help with eczema: WaterWipes by DERMAH2O, the first-ever baby wipe specifically created to care for newborn babies' delicate skin. They're made from just 99.9% water, 0.1% grapefruit seed extract and nothing else. Safe to use from birth, this product is made without any of the usual synthetic preservatives or chemical additives found in all other baby wipes. Parents can use them without the fear of triggering infant skin conditions such as nappy rash and atopic eczema. WaterWipes are available in 26 selected Boots stores nationwide and can also be bought via http://www.boots.com and http://www.amazon.com. RRP: £4.49 for a pack of 72 wipes. More information at http://www.dermah2o.com

SPECIALISTS: London Mums recommended dermatologists in London:

1) Dr Sandeep Cliff - Consultant Dermatologist - has a London clinic. Contact: sandeep_cliff@hotmail.com.

2) Adam Fox - Baby/Child Allergist: Dr Adam Fox is one of the UK's leading baby & child allergy specialists. He is one of a small handful of paediatricians in this country who has recognised higher specialist training. Adam understands the complexities of allergy and has extensive experience treating asthma, eczema, rhinitis (hayfever), conjunctivitis and food allergy as well as drug and insect sting allergy. He is actively involved in research and was acclaimed 'Paediatric Allergist of the Year' in 2007 by Allergy UK and holds a clinic at Guy's & St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Trust. Viveka, 27a Queen's Terrace, St John's Wood, London. Tel: 020 7483 0099 or Web: http://www.viveka.co.uk

'CHILDREN AND THE SUN' by Dr David Atherton, Consultant Paediatric Dermatologist at Great Ormond Street Hospital (Summer 2009)

EFFECTS OF THE SUN ON THE SKIN

These effects can conveniently be subdivided into early and late.

Early effects

Sunburn

Sunburn is a reflection of lethal damage to epidermal cells, and to small blood vessels in the underlying dermis. The cardinal sign of sunburn is redness, but when severe this may be accompanied by blistering, due to the accumulation of fluid below the epidermis. There is generally a delay between UVR exposure and the appearance of sunburn of 3-5 hours, but the reaction may not reach its peak until 12-24 hours. It is principally UV-B that is responsible for sunburn. How much exposure is required depends on many factors including the degree of natural pigmentation of the skin.

If a child is sunburned, it can be useful to use a topical steroid to reduce inflammation. Research is under way to establish the value of antioxidants in green tea, for example, which may also be able to reduce the risk of sun damage leading to development of skin cancer. Children who have sunburn will also have increased loss of water through the damaged skin and require oral fluid replacement, particularly if blistering occurs.

Tanning

Tanning results from increased production of melanin in the melanocytes located in the epidermis. Tanning is largely a response to UV-B wavelengths. Due to the complexity of these processes, it takes about 72 hours for tanning to appear following UVR exposure.

Immunosuppressive effects

The skin has a powerful immune system, whose primary function is protection against skin infection by a variety of micro-organisms and against infestation by parasites. UVR has a powerful suppressive effect on this function, which is probably the reason that cold sores are not an uncommon complication of sun exposure.

Late effects

One might think that these are not issues with which we need to be particularly concerned when considering the UVR on children's skin. However, it has been shown that the majority of our UVR exposure occurs in childhood, and that this is therefore when most of the skin damage occurs. It is the protective measures we take with our children that will count in their later adult lives; the measures we take ourselves as adults are of much less importance.

Ageing

Although some ageing takes place in the skin even in the absence of UVR exposure, it is estimated that about 90% of the ageing effects observed in the skin are the direct result of UVR exposure. These effects include wrinkling, dryness, mottled pigmentation and laxity. The wrinkling and laxity appear to result largely from damage to elastic fibres in the dermis.

Carcinogenesis

The commonest skin cancers are basal cell carcinoma and squamous carcinoma. The risk of these cancers correlates well with cumulative lifetime UVR exposure, particularly in those with lighter skin colour. Malignant melanoma is a more dangerous form of cancer, and one that is steadily becoming more common. While it is clear that UVR exposure is important, its precise relationship has been difficult to determine. It now appears likely though that the main provocative factor in malignant melanoma is high-level UVR exposure and sunburn in childhood. There is animal evidence that suggests that even a single sunburn experience may be enough to result in later development of malignant melanoma.

PROTECTION OF THE SKIN FROM UV RADIATION

Natural

The skin provides a range of natural defence mechanisms against damage by UVR. In general, those who start with naturally darker skin will tan faster than those with naturally light skin. Those with naturally more pigmented skin will be better protected against the harmful effects of UVR, and the lighter-skinned will be helped by getting a tan. However the benefit of natural pigmentation and of tanning is mostly expressed in terms of protection against sunburn. It appears that natural pigmentation or a tan provide less protection against photoageing, and one can clearly see severe photoageing in photographs of elderly Blacks and Orientals who have led an outdoor life. Furthermore, the process of getting of a tan by a lighter-skinned individual will involve a risk of sunburn and will certainly involve unavoidable photoageing and photocarcinogenic damage.

Artificial

The main aims of sun protective measures are prevention of sunburn reactions and prevention of cumulative long-term skin damage, as we have already discussed. Although the first thing that parents consider in relation to protection of their children is sunscreens, other measures are more effective and therefore more important.

Time of year, time of day and shade

Understanding the factors that determine the level of UVR exposure of the skin is the key to protection of children. Although it used to be said that one need not be concerned about the sun in the UK between November and the end of March, this is not now necessarily always the case, probably mainly because of damage to the upper atmospheric ozone layer in the last 50 years or so. Nevertheless, in general, the months April to October inclusive are the ones that matter, and the hours between 10am and 4pm, when the sun's rays have to traverse the least amount of atmosphere to reach us. This means that we should schedule children's outdoor activities outside these hours as far as possible in the months that matter. When this can be achieved, other protective measures will not be needed. It is when this can't be achieved that we need to consider such measures.It is important to be aware that UVR intensity is greatly increased at altitude, even during the winter months. Clouds do reduce UVR intensity somewhat but it does penetrate cloud depending on thickness; also clouds scatter UVR so that shade is not as effective. Snow, water and sand reflect UVR, increasing exposure and also reducing the effectiveness of shade. Simple structural measures should be regarded as a priority for schools, such as the planting trees to provide shade in playgrounds. Parents need to consider such measures for their own gardens. Children need shade for areas of relatively static play, such as sand pits, which can be protected by a canopy.

Clothing and headwear

Clothing and headwear are other considerations that are in my view more important than sunscreen use. In general, clothing should cover arms and legs in the summer months. Choice of fabric makes a big difference. Dark colours protect better than lighter ones. In general, the tighter the weave the more protective the fabric will be. A good way to test this is to look at the light through the fabric and check how much penetrates. If you can see through clearly, the level of protection is not very good. A thin white T shirt probably only provides the equivalent of SPF2. It is also worth noting that wet clothing is less protective than dry clothing. For added softness for children's clothing, it is advisable to use non-biological products such as Fairy Non Bio that have a mild fragrance and have been evaluated for skin safety. Fairy Non-Bio skin safety has been reviewed by Allergy UK and awarded their British Allergy Foundation Seal of Approval endorsement. Clothes washed in Fairy Non Bio have been shown by the manufacturer to be as gentle next to skin as clothes washed in water alone. A suitable fabric softener will minimise the friction of clothing; again it is best to choose products that have been thoroughly evaluated for skin safety like Fairy Fabric Softener.

Sunscreens

Sunscreens are skin applications that protect by reflecting and/or absorbing UVR. There is a bafflingly large choice available. There are 2 broad categories of agents in sunscreens: physical and chemical. Physical agents largely work by forming an opaque white barrier that reflects away UVR. Their main disadvantage is that they are usually visible as a white film that adults regard as unattractive; their whiteness will be more apparent the darker a child's skin is naturally. Tinted versions are available, which can be more acceptable, particularly in darker skin types. Despite this problem they should be preferred for children because they are equally effective for UV-A and UV-B, because they are very much less likely to irritate the eyes and because their use avoids the child being exposed to chemical agents that are associated with a greater risk of adverse effects. Chemical agents work by absorbing UVR energy. Each chemical absorbs best at a particular wavelength. This means that even when several chemicals are used in combination, the full spectrum of UV wavelengths will not be dealt with as effectively as by physical agents. Chemical agents are generally not as effective in the UV-A wavelengths. The effectiveness of sunscreens is most commonly expressed as an SPF (sun protection factor) value. This value is the ratio between the doses of UVR required to produce minimal sunburn on skin with the sunscreen compared to unprotected skin. The SPF value gives a reasonable indication of the degree of protection against UV-B wavelengths but little information in respect of UV-A. No widely accepted measure of UV-A protection is yet available. It is also very important in practice to know whether a sunscreen preparation will remain effective when a child is playing with water, or swimming, or sweating. Sunscreens have been associated with a number of unwanted effects. The biggest problem has been allergic reactions to chemical agents, and sometimes to preservatives and other additives that these formulations may contain. However, allergic reactions seem to occur in no more than 2% of the population. Stinging sensations are not uncommon with some preparations, usually due to a content of potentially irritating substances such as alcohol or preservatives in children with particularly sensitive skin, principally those who are prone to eczema.

Getting the balance right

In the early 20th century, increased awareness of the role of sunlight in vitamin D synthesis led to outdoor activities and sun exposure being regarded as healthy. Previously a tan was regarded as a sign of lower social class, indicating outdoor work, but it was Coco Chanel who famously changed perceptions and made the suntan a fashion symbol. However, by the middle of the 20th century it was becoming clear that UVR was a cause of skin cancer, and the pendulum started to swing the other way. Now, with more evidence of a non-skin cancer-protective role for vitamin D, we are becoming concerned that we may have overdone protection against sun exposure. We are looking for a new balance and a consensus has not yet emerged.

However, for the time being it seems sensible to regard all the sun-protective measures I have listed, including sunscreen application to the face, as advisable for children in the UK (who will be in the sun for more than an hour during the peak UVR period of the day between April and October). One should choose a sunscreen having at least SPF15 which states that it has good UVA protection and is water-resistant. If a child is forced to be in the open for more than 2 hours at a high-risk time, the sunscreen should be re-applied reasonably frequently, depending on circumstances. What remains unclear is whether this level of protection will allow fully adequate vitamin D production, but even leaving hands uncovered without applying sunscreen should allow adequate vitamin D production with more or less daily exposure of around an hour. It is probably a good idea to provide an oral vitamin D supplement during the winter months, November to March inclusive.

Useful websites

www.sunsafetyforkids.org www.sunsense.marinschools.org www.skincancer.org www.info.cancerresearchuk.org

A sample of websites for sun protection products - UV-protective clothing

www.equatorsun.com www.sunprecautions.com www.kakadookids.co.uk

Sunscreens

www.sunsense.co.uk www.boots.com www.e45.com

THE AUTHOR: Dr David J Atherton, Hon. Consultant in Paediatric Dermatology at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children (London WC1N 3JH). Paediatric Dermatologist Dr David Atherton, is an advisor for Fairy Non Bio and Fairy Fabric Softener, providing guidance and advice on the area of infant skincare and the benefits of using non biological products next to sensitive skin. The Fairy Fabric range has been dermalogically tested and awarded the British Allergy Foundation Seal of Approval, for more information visit www.softeningyourworld.com. Dr David Atherton currently sees patients privately at Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children, at the Cromwell Hospital in West London and at the Princess Margaret Hospital in Windsor.

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'BEREAVEMENT - Bereavement - how parents can help children cope positively with the grieving process' by Sue Atkins, parenting expert and author (May 2009)

Beginning the grieving process

For many children their first real experience with loss happens when a pet dies. There are many ways you can tell your child that a pet has died from using a soothing voice or finding a comfortable and familiar place to tell them, but the most important thing is to be honest. Trying to protect them with vague and inaccurate explanations can create more anxiety, confusion and mistrust. When a well loved pet dies, children need consolation, love, support and affection more than complicated medical explanations. They need to have their feelings understood and validated. There is no best way for children to mourn their pets, but they need to be given time to remember. Mourning a pet has to be done in a child's own way and it could help to talk about the animal with family and friends or even at school.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent so just be a real one.

When a person dies it is a distressing event to which people react differently. Some may be shocked, some numb, whilst others get upset and tearful. "How you, as a parent, handle death and grief is a blueprint for how your children handle death and grief in their emotional lives," advises parent coach and author, Sue Atkins, of Positive Parents Confident Kids. "As a parent you are a real-life role model for your children."

Coping with your own feelings can be especially difficult when you are trying to support your children too. You may be feeling shocked, sad, angry, guilty, anxious, relieved, lonely, orphaned, irritable or many other feelings. It may be hard for you to do the "normal" things and keep to the same routines as your whole perspective changes.

It helps to talk - to family, friends or neutral people who have experienced the same situation so that you offload your grief to the appropriate people - not your children. Parents often feel that the needs of their children come first but you also need to make time for yourself - because then you can come from a place of stability for your kids.

Parents often try to protect their children by not talking about illness or death. This is, of course, understandable as not everyone is comfortable talking about their emotions or knows what to say. However, Sue Atkins believes that: "children are sensitive, intelligent people who need to be listened to and asked how they feel. They have their own personal unique relationship with the person who has died and need to be allowed to express their grief."

How bereavement affects children

Children handle death and loss in a number of different ways, as do adults, and it is important to understand that children of differing ages react in different ways, and not always as an adult may react or behave. Children's understanding of death comes gradually:

Under five years: children of this age have little abstract sense of time or distance, so final and forever means very little to them; dead means less alive; death is a sleep or a journey; death and life are interchangeable.

From five to eight years: death is a frightening person; death is final; death is often seen as the end result of violence and aggression and often there's an intense interest in the rituals surrounding death.

From around nine years onwards: children understand that death is the end of bodily life, death is inevitable, final and happens to everyone eventually.

From around nine years of age most children will have an adult view of death although this will depend on their development, maturity and past experiences of death. "The best way of understanding what children think and feel about death is to listen carefully, talk gently with them, and be guided by them."

Many parents feel that childhood is a time free from difficulties and challenging events but in reality this just isn't the case. It is how the parent handles the challenges that makes their children grow up well balanced, resilient and strong, able to handle the blows life deals them.

"Don't be afraid to be completely natural in your own grief - don't hide it away from your children. Grief is a natural emotion. Sadness is part of life and by talking it through together your child can experience the healing process first hand," advises Sue Atkins.

Organisations to help:

Winston's Wish - The Clara Burgess Centre, Bayshill Road, Cheltenham GL51 3WH - Tel: 01242 515157 - Helpline: 0845 203 0405 (Mon-Fri 9-5pm) - Website: www.winstonswish.org.uk

Childline - Freepost NATN1111, London E1 6BR - Tel: 020 7239 1000; 0800 1111 (24-hour helpline) - Website: www.childline.org.uk

Childhood Bereavement Network - Tel: 0115 911 8070 - Website: www.ncb.org.uk/cbn

Child Bereavement Charity - Tel: 01494 446648 (general inquiries); 0845 357 1000 (information and support line) - Website: www.childbereavement.org.uk

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: Sue Atkins is a parent coach and her company is Positive Parents Confident Kids.

She is a former Deputy Head with 22 years teaching experience and is an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. As well as being a parent coach, Sue is a parent of two teenagers and the author of numerous books, her latest being "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the famous black and yellow series. Chapter 13 covers helping your child cope with bigger issues, such as death and dying. Positive Parents works with parents to fine-tune their parenting skills via a range of toolkits, such as 'How to be a brilliant parent', 'Positive toddler taming' and 'Parenting made easy', runs one-to-one coaching sessions, workshops and seminars. Sue's favourite phrase is "because kids don't come with a handbook". If you want more info her website is www.positive-parents.com.

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'CAN YOUR SEX LIFE SURVIVE A BABY? - FIVE TIPS BY EXPERT ANNIE BENNETT TO BRING THE PASSION BACK' (April 2009)

Getting back into a normal sex life after having a baby can, for many couples, be as difficult as a new mum who has piled on the pregnancy pounds getting her size 10 figure back. Perhaps more difficult. And just as common. According to relationships counselling organisation Relate, 80 percent of new mums say they feel less like having sex after having a baby than they had done before.

It's not difficult to see why. Looking after a newborn baby can be exhausting, and sleep deprivation is common in both new mums and dads. Many experts also believe new mums have a lowered sex drive after having a baby because their hormones drive them to care for and nurture their baby, rather than conceive another one.

But what happens when the shock of having a new baby wears off, and you're still not having sex? It's a vicious circle - the less you do it, the more you lose interest in it. So what's the best way to break the pattern?

Annie Bennett, a counsellor therapist with a private practice in central London and author of the book "The Love Trap", says if your sex life feels dull and predictable, it's time to make a conscious effort to bring back spontaneity by surprising your partner sexually. "Taking care of children can be exhausting, but laughter and fun will help you develop a lighter outlook," she says. "This will help ease stress and tension that builds during the monotony of everyday responsibilities."

Five TOP TIPS to bring the passion back into London Mums' relationships

Here are Annie's top five tips for reviving a flagging sex life - both for new parents and all couples who are finding it difficult to keep the passion alive in their relationship...

1. Listen to music that makes you happy, feel alive and uplifted; sing along at every opportunity. This will help release endorphins to lift your mood.

2. Read books that are sexy and romantic. Take ideas from them that will be helpful and build sexual intimacy between you and your partner.

3. Take your partner by surprise. For instance, when he comes home arrive at the door wearing your biggest coat, take it off and have your favourite sexy undies on display. Then surprise him with a special bedroom picnic that includes spread-on body chocolate and spray cream. Play together and have fun like young lovers.

4. Leave the stresses of your responsibilities as a parent behind with role play. Choose your roles - the lusty widow and caring medic, for instance - and literally play with each other in a joyful and sexy way that makes your relationship more of an adventure rather than a predictable drudge.

5. Make a timetable for sex and love making; schedule in fun and excitement. And keep to your schedule no matter how tired you are. Lack of sleep can be made up but losing your sexual bond could see you drifting into boredom, lack of interest and eventually fear and avoidance.

ABOUT ANNIE BENNETT: Annie has been working in the field of psychotherapy and counselling since 1994, when she trained and worked for Cruse Bereavement Care in North Surrey. She later trained and worked for Surrey Alcohol and Drug Misuse, and went on to spend time as a visiting therapist at one of the world's leading treatment centres for addition, The Meadows in Phoenix, Arizona. It was while working at The Meadows that Annie recognised her own love addiction.

ABOUT "THE LOVE TRAP" by Annie Bennett: The Love Trap offers the opportunity vicariously to experience what love addiction is really like. Seeing through the eyes of a self-confessed love addict will give you the chance to identify your own cycle of love addictive relating. Group therapy thrives and succeeds on vicarious experience and this book can offer something very similar - an important first step towards therapeutic recovery from what is a most destructive addiction. The book shows too how important confused, unspoken messages from family and the past can be in influencing your behaviour and how terribly difficult it can be to carry this burden. With dedicated commitment to recovery, The Love Trap will enable self-discovery and offer insight and help if you are experiencing difficulties with your relationships. Through her personal story, Annie Bennett will show you how to start making your own healthy choices and how to protect yourself against walking into yet another 'set up' for failure. You don't have to keep repeating your past mistakes! THE LOVE TRAP by Annie Bennett is available from www.hammersmithpress.co.uk - Price £12.99

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'CUT THE COST OF KIDS' PARTIES' by mumpreneur and founder of Les Enfants Katie Burnett (February 2009)

Children's parties may seem like a luxury in tough economic times, but it is possible to hold a great kids' party without breaking the bank. The trick, according to party organisers Les Enfants, is to plan ahead and get creative.

"No matter how tough things are financially, no parent wants to deny their child a birthday party. It's possible to hold great parties for very little money if you use your imagination and put in a little effort. Remember, simple is often best!", explains Katie Burnett of Les Enfants.

Here are Les Enfants' credit crunch party tips:

INVITATIONS: Make your own for free. Get your child to do a drawing, use a photo ordownload a freeimage from the internet to create a themed invitation using your PC. If you don't have a PC or scanner, use paints and let your child make handprints on pieces of card for a personal touch. It's a great way to get your child involved in the party organisation too.

Activities for toddlers and babies: Limit numbers as young children can feel overwhelmed bytoo many people - and it cuts costs. Get out all of your toys andplaymats, borrowing items from friends if needed, use a sing-along CD andmusical instruments to create a fun musicand play party. Or invite all the guests to bring a teddy and hold a teddy bear's picnic. Parties don't need to be longer than an hour to ninety minutes and can easily be held at home.

Activities for older children: Activity parties are great fun and can be donecost effectively. Try arts and crafts, like make your own princess tiaraor pirate hat or painting cheap plain white mugs. Raid the pound shops forsupplies. The children's artwork doubles up as their take homepresent, so no need for expensive party bags. Cookie decorating or pizzamaking are also good options as they keep the kids busy and can serve asthe party food or a snack. Traditional party games like pinthe tail on the donkey, musical statues and What's the Time Mr Wolfcost nothing other than a small token prize for the winner.

Activities for tweens: Forboys, create a Games party using your (or a friend's) Wii orPlayStation. Plan a mini olympics using sports games or a formula 1 withdriving games with the winner getting a prize. For girls, sleepovers arebrilliant. Let them get stuck into your old make up and hair accessorieswith a make over party or have a movie party with lots of popcorn and aselection of DVDs.

Entertainers: If you want an entertainer then ask if they do one hour rates instead of two. Alternatively a birthday party on a school afternoon will be lessexpensive than a weekend slot.

VENUES: Having yourparty at home is the cheapest, but if your house can't accommodatemany children, consider using a local village hall or community centre.They will be less expensive than softplay areas or private function rooms. If the weather is good, head outdoors to the nearest park or beach.

CAKE: Home bakingis a lot easier than it seems and costs far less than a bought cake.Cupcakes are the latest trend and are even easier. Simply arrange them ona stand and the children can take one home with them.

FOOD: Kids always eat less than you think at parties, so cut down on costs and wastage byproviding less. Making your own is the cheapest option or choose a timewhen a meal isn't necessary and simply provide drinks and snacks.

PARTY BAGS: Party bags are optional and don't have to be elaborate. A cupcake,balloon and the craft which they've made themselves at the partywill make most children happy. Or look at pound shops for sets of books ortoys and give each child one. It's more environmentally friendlythan a bag full of plastic rubbish that will get put in the bin within minutes.

If you're looking for more advice on how to hold a cost effective party, find venues or entertainers, contact Les Enfants for more information: http://www.lesenfants.co.uk/, email info@lesenfants.co.uk or call 020 8502 9988.

About Les Enfants: London-based Les Enfants was founded by working mother Katie Burnett with over 10 years experience in organising events. The company offers parents and corporate clients a premium service that takes away all the stress of organising children's parties, with a highly personal service. Corporate clients include Total Oil, HSBC, PriceWaterhouseCoopers while private clients include several celebrities.

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'THE GIFT OF SELF-ESTEEM - TOP TIPS TO NURTURE A CHILD'S SELF-ESTEEM' by Sue Atkins, parenting expert and author (December 2008)

"Everyone is born with their own personality traits but it is not so much who we are when born that counts, but who we are encouraged and allowed to become. On average each person has 90,000 thoughts a day and 60,000 of those are repetitive, so it is important for children to be thought to think positively about themselves," says Sue Atkins, parenting expert and author.

Self-esteem is what makes a person like themself, think they are a good human being or feel proud of their abilities. But where does the ability to do this come from? As the first role models for a child parents play a major part, believes Sue.

"The job of being a parent is similar to being a gardener - you sow seeds of confidence through nurturing, watering and feeding your growing child's self esteem, and encourage them through the words that you use, the actions that you take and the love and encouragement you give," says Sue.

There are some simple ways of nurturing a child's self-esteem. Sue Atkins has some positive parenting tips to help you:

1. Treat your child with respect - your relationship with your child is the foundation of their relationship with others. If you treat your child with compassion, kindness and respect, they will grow up to be concerned about others, caring, considerate and respectful towards others too. So if you are being a respectful role model your child will respect you and learn to respect others and most importantly will learn to love and respect themselves - the key cornerstone in self-esteem, self-belief and self-confidence.

2. Help your child feel special and appreciated - one of the main factors that contributes to your child becoming resilient and confident is by you focusing your energy on your child's strengths and not constantly picking up on their weaknesses. Young children are learning and developing their skills all the time - they need your patience and understanding when they make mistakes and get things wrong, and you will be teaching them that it is OK to make mistakes when learning a new skill.

3. Help your child to develop their problem-solving and decision-making skills - high self-esteem is associated with solid problem-solving skills so encourage your child to "struggle" with their laces for a little bit longer or with doing up their coat buttons or trying to manipulate something. It builds up persistence and tenacity and they learn to develop a wonderful sense of achievement when they have achieved it for themselves. Be guided by your child's age and personality but by developing their independence you give them a great gift.

4. Be an empathetic parent - many well-meaning parents, out of their own frustration, are heard to say such things as: "What's the matter with you, why don't you listen to me?" If your child is having difficulty with something, think of new ways to encourage them. What could you do differently that will support them and let them know you are alongside them? Acknowledge that you understand their emotion, frustration or fear.

5. Highlight your child's strengths - always be on the look-out for ways to praise what your child is good at - helping others, painting pictures, doing jigsaws, kicking balls, being cheerful. Make a list of what your child is good at and find ways of praising them. For example, if your child is a wonderful artist, display their artwork in the kitchen and change the pictures regularly.

6. Provide choices for your child - providing small choices, such as which colour jumper they wear, really helps your child develop a sense of control over their lives and builds their self confidence. This will also lessen power struggles and tantrums!

7. Have expanding expectations and goals for your child - the development of self-control goes hand-in-glove with self-esteem, and realistic expectations provide your child with a sense of control and can take away undue pressure when they are small. However, don't limit or put a ceiling on what you think your child can achieve as that creates a limiting belief within them as they feel that they can't ever achieve something above your expectations of them. Just be mindful of their age, skills and dexterity and let them explore their own potential.

8. Develop a strong healthy self image in your child - from this solid foundation everything else in life will become easier and more straightforward. Your self-image is the result of the repeated messages and instructions you received as a child from your authority figures, i.e. your parents, family, teachers and other influential adults and peers in your life.

9. Awareness parenting - this is being constantly aware of the bigger picture. It is the nurturing of the unique, happy, confident and well balanced adult that really matters. If you are a thoughtful parent, you are nurturing self-esteem all the time and influencing how your child views themselves for the rest of their lives.

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: Sue Atkins is a parenting coach and her company is Positive Parents Confident Kids.

In addition to being a parent coach, Sue is a former Deputy Head with 22 years teaching experience and is an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. Positive Parents runs one-to-one coaching sessions, workshops and seminars and works with parents on improving/honing their parenting skills. Sue's favourite phrase is "because kids don't come with a handbook". As well as being a parent coach, Sue is a parent of two teenagers and the author of numerous books, her latest being "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the famous black and yellow series. If you want more info her website is www.positive-parents.com.

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'THE BENEFITS OF ALOE VERA' by Independent Distributor and Business Coach Susan Bowman (December 2008)

Aloe vera has been valued for thousands of years for its healing and regenerative properties. Over the centuries, aloe vera has been known to many different cultures, from the Ancient Greeks and Romans, to Babylonian, Indian and Chinese peoples. It has earned many names as testament to its potency: wand of heaven, the miracle plant, plant of life and the elixir of longevity, are just a few. Although there are over 200 species of aloe, there are only four or five with medicinal properties. Of these, Aloe Barbadensis Miller, is the most potent. It is a common household plant and contrary to appearance it is not a cactus, but part of the lily family, along with onions and garlic.

To benefit from Aloe Vera, the gel from the inner leaf can be taken internally for its nutritional anti-inflammatory and immune balancing effect. It can also be combined with other ingredients to produce topical creams and lotions to nourish and improve the quality of the skin.

So why is aloe vera so powerful?

Inside the leaf, aloe vera gel contains at least 75 known ingredients, including vitamins, minerals, amino acids, long chain polysaccharides, enzymes, plant sterols, saponins, lignin, anthraquinones and salicylic acid.

For a product to work properly, aloe needs to be the principal ingredient. Look out for the International Aloe Science Council (IASC) seal of approval. The Council allow the term "juice" to be used for a liquid containing only 15% certified Aloe Vera. To qualify as "Gel" the product must contain at least 85% certified Aloe Vera.

OUR EXPERT: Mumpreneur Susan Bowman of Forever Living, the world's biggest Aloe Vera producer, growing over 80% of the world's commercially grown Aloe Vera. The company controls the process exclusively from growing the plants right through to retailing, so that they can ensure the highest quality at every stage. In 1978 the company were the first to patent a stabilisation process which ensures that what you get in the bottle is essentially identical to what you get when you cut open the aloe leaf.

Forever's products are not sold in shops, but only through direct marketing, because with a product of such high quality, you need service to match, and this is best achieved through selling it on a more personal basis.

For more information contact susanbowman@f2s.com or call 0208 144 5721.

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'MAKING REWARDS WORK' by Dr Elizabeth Kilbey (October 2008)

OUR EXPERT: Dr Elizabeth Kilbey is a child psychologist and regularly appears on the BBC's House of Tiny Tearaways. She is also currently a consultant to Kinder, the leading kid's confectioner, who have recently conducted research into rewards and how mum's feel about the way they reward their children. Interestingly the research showed that 52 percent of parents do use rewards following good behaviour, while 48 percent confessed that used treats to stop children misbehaving.

Here Elizabeth gives her top tips on how best to use rewards.

THE THREE R's
Rewards are such an important part of children's lives. Children are not born knowing how to behave well. They have to learn this skill just like most other things in their life. Rewards are a great way of communicating to your child about how you want them to behave and when you are pleased with their actions. When it comes to rewards, I like to think in terms of the 3 R's Rewards: to be effective give rewards soon after a behaviour has occurred and make sure your child knows why they are being rewarded. Vary your rewards as much as possible and don't forget that hugs, kisses, praise and even 1:1 playtime are some of the best rewards you can give your child.
Relationships: reinforcing your child's positive behaviour through affection and praise not only builds their self-esteem but also helps strengthen the relationship between you and your child.
Responsibility: giving your child sensible, appropriate and varied rewards teaches them to take responsibility for their own behaviour and to make wise choices for themselves in the future.

HOW TO PLAY WITH YOUR CHILD
As we get older we forget lots of things and one of them is how to play. What this means is that when our children say "will you play with me", we often find it really hard to play with them. Here are a few tips: a) First make sure you are ready to play. Turn off all distractions and have your toys or games ready. b) Be clear about how long you are going to play together for. 10 minutes per day is a good starting point. c) One of the most important things to remember is to let your child lead the play. d) To help build their imagination skills encourage them to develop the game, but they may need a little help from you. You can make suggestions but let them make the choices. e) Try to avoid asking too many questions (and if you take a moment to listen I bet you will be surprised at how many questions you ask). f) Instead of asking questions you can comment on what you and your child are doing together, for example "we are building a really tall tower", or "the cars are racing round the track". At first you may feel silly doing this but if you can carry on with your describing it is an excellent way to develop your child's language skills and motor and social development. Plus from my experience children absolutely love to know that you are paying such close attention to their play.

HOW TO USE REWARDS

Using rewards and reinforcers are a great way of managing your child's behaviour and communicating to them when you are pleased with their attitude or efforts. But for rewards to be really effective there are some important tips to follow. Star charts are a great example of a reward system but they can be harder to implement than you would think. First involve your child in drawing up the chart and get them to help design and colour it in. Then choose two or three things that you really want to focus on or change. Remember to keep it simple and very specific, for example brushing their teeth each morning, making their bed or doing their homework each night. For younger children you could have using the toilet or potty. Don't make it too vague, like 'being good' or 'playing nicely with a sibling', because it is very hard for your child to know when they have achieved this and earnt their star. Another important principle is that star charts work on positive reinforcement. Children can earn stickers or starts but not lose them, even if they behaviour deteriorates. If they don't achieve their target they have a gap on their chart, never a negative sign such as a cross or a sad face. Star charts are also most likely to be effective over a short period of time, such as two to three weeks. After that time you may need to change the goals or targets.

MANAGING DIFFICULT BEHAVIOUR
Children of all ages can show difficult or challenging behaviours at times. Finding the best ways to manage these can be tough and often frustrating. One of the most important and often most difficult things to do is to stay calm. Children are very good at picking up on your mood or feelings and staying calm will help to de-escalate situations more quickly and help you to think more clearly and stay in control. Tantrums or bad behaviour are best handled before they build out of control. So be alert for your child's early warning signs that their behaviour is becoming difficult. At the first sign of trouble act quickly to try and distract or divert them. Move their attention on to something else or get them involved in a different activity. Anything that might break the cycle of bad behaviour. If this fails and the behaviour is building them you may need to use your ignoring skills. Use your whole body to turn away from your child; do not make eye contact and definitely no talking. Keep ignoring them until their behaviour begins to reduce, and then you can return your attention to your child. The main principle of ignoring is that children often use their behaviour as a way of gaining attention (even negative attention) and so by ignoring them you give no attention to their behaviour, meaning that over time it will reduce. Ignoring is not easy and may require both practice and will power but trust me it does work.

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'TOP TIPS TO SURVIVE THE FIRST 12 MONTHS WITH TWINS' by Jo Tantum, Sleep Specialist and Twin Expert (September 2008)

Well firstly - CONGRATULATIONS ON HAVING TWINS! - although there will be challenging times ahead there is nothing more magical than TWO babies smiling, gurgling and chatting to each other, and you! Enjoy - It's so worth it! Having one baby seems to take up all your time, so when you have two you really wonder how you ever have the time to get dressed, have something to eat or even get out of the house, maybe you think that you will never achieve any of these things! Well hopefully I can help you with some great ideas and tips that will make life easier and not so overwhelming ,and of course the best bit of all how to achieve more than a couple of hours sleep!

ROUTINES - Essential if you have twins!! Having a routine for twins is a sanity saver for parents. It means that your babies get enough milk, especially during the day when they can sleep for long periods. It also means that you then have some much-needed time for yourself, or other siblings. As your babies will probably be of a low birth weight and very sleepy you will need to feed them every 2 to 2 and half hours (Routines 1 and 2). Then when they reach 7lbs they can go onto a 3 hourly routine (routine 3). Some babies who have been in SCBU will be on a 4 hourly feeding programme, and will need to be put on a 3 hourly feeding pattern as they will not be able to go for 4 hours without a feed when they start getting bigger and more hungry.

My routine rules - *A routine is not a dictator but a guide. *Your routine is flexible and you can make adjustments if and when you need to. You can vary the times by 15 minutes either way. *All my routines are based on babies' natural feeding and sleeping patterns , so you can choose which routine will suit your baby better. This is what a 3 hourly Routine looks like -

Feed 7am ish / Nap 8-8.15; Feed 10am / Nap 11-11.15am; Feed 1pm / Nap 2-2.15 pm; Feed 4pm / Nap 5/5.15 pm - Wake up at 6.15 pm; Feed 7pm; Feed 10.30/11pm.

TOP TIPS FOR ROUTINES

1. Keep a log of babies' feeding and sleeping patterns as well as dirty nappies. That way you can see your babies' progress and if a baby is grizzly you can look at your log and work out if it's constipation, hunger or tiredness.

2. Your babies will be very sleepy so wake them up and change their nappies 15 minutes before a feed.

3. Feed your babies at the same time and put them down for their naps at the same time. This way you will get time inbetween to relax or even get dressed - luxury!

4. If you are breast feeding, feed the smallest baby first. Someone else can feed the other baby with half feed of expressed breast milk and then swop. Or you can alternate which baby has a breast feed at each feed, this way you can bond with each baby. You could also try feeding them together but someone will have to help pass them to you and latch them on.

5. If bottle feeding your twins then you can feed them on a pillow side by side together. Or use two reclining chairs side by side of you while you sit on a cushion in between.

SLEEP - Yes you can still get some with twins!

For at least the first 2 weeks your babies will be very sleepy, which is why it's very important to follow this pattern.

PLAYTIME - FEED - PLAYTIME - NAP.

This pattern means your baby will not associate feeding with going to sleep, which later on will cause SLEEP PROBLEMS. Neither will your baby learn to fall asleep by himself which is a very important lesson for babies to learn - important because it's something they will rely on again and again day-time and night-time to put themselves back to sleep. Babies are capable of one long sleep every 24 hour, which of course you want your baby to take it when you are having your long sleep 11pm - 7am. You can encourage this by waking them for feeds in the daytime and giving them a dream feed around 10.30 - 11pm. Many babies get day and night confusion. Days are about noise, people talking, telephones ringing, radio on and light. Night time is about quiet, whispers and darkness. This way your baby will soon start to wake more in the day and be sleepy at night.

SLEEP TOP TIPS

1. Swaddle your babies day and night, this will help them sleep more and stop them waking themselves by their startle or moro reflex.

2. Put your twins in a moses basket or cot together, they have been together for the last 9 months and have created a bond. You will find that they will in fact comfort and quieten each other, and be oblivious of each other other's crying .

3. Put you babies in a quiet room for daytime naps after the first two weeks, then they will sleep better.

MONEY SAVING TIPS

1. You don't have to buy two of everything. In fact you may even save money. With twins sleeping together you can put them together straight into a cot, so have no need for a moses basket. You will only need one baby bath but I suggest buying two reclining chairs as you will use them a lot especially when feeding.

2. Buy supermarket brand nappies for the daytime and then more expensive absorbent ones for the nights.

3. Borrow as many things as you can off family and friends.

4. Use cotton wool and water rather than harsh expensive wipes.

5. Use olive oil for very dirty nappies and massage.

6. Go on ebay or NCT websites for cheap and second hand equipment.

7. Join a twins club in your area as they will usually have hardly-used equipment and clothes to give away. And they will provide you with much needed support and advice.

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: JO TANTUM is a SLEEP SPECIALIST and TWIN EXPERT.

You can find more help with twins in Jo's best selling book - 'Baby Secrets' available from Amazon.co.uk and all large bookshops. Jo's website is great for extra advice and personal help. Check it out: www.babysecretsltd.com.

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TOP 6 POTTY TRAINING TIPS by Dr. Maggie Redshaw, BA PhD Health Psychology (August 2008)

Your little one's growing up fast. She's mastered walking and is getting more independent by the day, she's started saying her first words and she's a pro at tantrums, too! But there's one more milestone your toddler's got to reach... it's time to start the journey from nappy to potty.

To really get the hang of potty training, child psychologists believe your toddler needs to first understand what it feels like when she's wet. "Your child has to be able to recognise the difference between being wet and dry, so she can understand the cause and effect of going to the toilet, and what having an accident really feels like," explains leading child psychologist Dr Maggie Redshaw.

"Consistency is the key to success with potty training," continues Dr Redshaw. "Once you've chosen a regime, get into a routine and stick to it to avoid confusing your toddler. If she shows any signs of distress about potty training, stop for a few days before trying again. Remember it's a process with many steps, so try not to be impatient. It may take your toddler weeks or months to master going to the toilet on her own but with gentle encouragement and help from you, she'll soon get there."

Because accidents are inevitable at first, Dr Redshaw stresses it's important not to get angry or make a fuss.

Here are her TOP 6 TRAINING TIPS: Although there are no hard and fast rules to potty training, these tips should help make it a little easier

1. GO ON A SHOPPING SPREE

When your tot's around 18 months buy a comfortable, broad-based potty and let her sit on it for fun - before bath time is a good time starting point. Tell her what it's for, and if she does anything in it, give her lots of praise. Never force your tot to sit on the potty though, especially if she seems scared.

2. GET YOUR TIMING RIGHT

Most toddler are ready for potty training some time after their second birthday, but many may be three or even four. Watch for signs she's ready, like copying your toilet habits, showing an understanding of when she's wet and telling you she's been, but don't push her. When you're ready to start explain what you're going to do and maybe read a book together about potty training, to help her understand.

3. BEAR THAT BOTTOM

Start by leaving her training pants off for a while. Try this one morning or afternoon when you're at home, and explain it's because she is learning how to use the potty - have a bare bottom will make it easier for her to get to the potty in time. Sit her on the potty now and then, and praise her if she goes.

4. LITTLE HABITS Try to get into a regular routine of when you sit her on the potty - after each meal is a good starting point. Continue with these sessions and if your child does a poo at more or less the same time every day, get her to sit on the potty at that time, explaining and reminding her what it's for. If her habits aren't regular, watch out for the signs that she's about to 'go' (reddening face, concentrated look, standing still) and quickly put her on the potty.

5. ASK NICELY

Once your tot's familiar with the potty, and using it occasionally, start asking her if he needs to go - but don't nag! Help to increase her sense of independence by reducing the number of times you decide to put her on the potty, encouraging her to tell you when she needs to go.

6. BYE BYE NAPPIES, HELLO POTTY!

When she's clean and dry most days, you can start to use training nappies only at night. She'll probably still have a few accidents, but the extra absorbency will mean no wet beds! Remember it could take another few months before she's totally dry at night.

OUR EXPERT BIOGRAPHY: Dr. Maggie Redshaw is a Developmental and Health Psychologist and has carried out extensive research over many years on pregnancy, childbirth and early child development. She is involved in ongoing studies on women's experience of caesarean section, parenting twins, being a parent of a premature baby, outcomes for babies and children born following treatment for infertility, and psychological adjustment to becoming a parent for the first time.

Potty training related Products' Review:

Pampers Feel 'n Learn training nappies and the Mamas & Papas Squeaka Duck Potty - To read these reviews, please check the page www.londonmums.org.uk/mumtips

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'Helpful tips to ensure kid's teeth remain in great shape over the Easter period' by Dr Henry Clover

Easter is an exciting time, but Easter egg hunts and their sugary prizes can spell disaster for children's teeth. How can you make sure you protect your child's teeth without ruining the fun? Remember that there is no shame in letting the kids have a little of what they fancy at Easter, so long as parents are aware of the 'danger' factors for teeth - sugar and acid - and also bear in mind these simple tips:

Encourage children to eat sweets at the end of a meal, rather than constantly nibbling throughout the day. Contrary to popular belief, frequent eating of sugary food and drinks is far worse for the teeth than the amount that children actually eat. After eating sugar, teeth are under acid attack for up to an hour, so if you can reduce the number of times your child eats sugar throughout the day, you also limit the amount of time that your child's teeth are under attack.

A good tip to help manage sweets and chocolate intake is to put them in a special box or tin and allow your children to choose some to eat at the end of a meal. By introducing sweets at the three mealtimes, with perhaps one additional snack, their teeth will be able to withstand those four attacks of sugar and acid.

Use the extra time during the Easter holidays to brush-up on your child's teeth care habits. The more familiar they become with looking after their teeth at a young age, the more likely they are to keep their teeth in good health in later life.

Dentists recommend children brushing teeth for two minutes both in the morning and at night. You should also, encourage your children to spit rather than rinse. Rinsing after brushing reduces the effectiveness of fluoride toothpaste - don't rinse it all away.

Another fun way of getting children to brush their teeth properly is to give them plaque disclosing tablets, which turn the mouth dark blue in areas where there's plaque to show them whether they've done a good job or not.

There are also some great teeth related gadgets available for children, so why not give them a healthy gift alongside the traditional Easter egg? These include tooth-brushing timers that come in the shape of fun characters, or flavoured toothpastes such as strawberry and bubblegum and watermelon.

Dr Henry Clover, senior dental advisor at Denplan, the UK's leading dental plan provider, has teamed up with specialist children's nutritionist and paediatric dietician, Judy More to create the above tips. To find out more check out the website www.child-nutrition.co.uk.

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NEW MUM SORE WRISTS: PRACTICAL HOME REMEDY BY LONDON MUM MONICA COSTA (Posted in January 2007)

It seems to be one of the struggles of motherhood, how to juggle home life with sore wrists. I'd like to share my experience with you as I might have found an effective home remedy to that.

Before Christmas with Diego reaching 4 months and getting heavier and heavier the pain on my already sore wrists got really excruciating and I blessed my trip to my mum who could help me holding him. My aunt who is a doctor said that I had what in Italy is called the new mother's Tendinitis, i.e. an inflammation of a tendon and suggested that I used Arnica Montana balm with a wristband. I massaged my wrists for a week and kept it straight with a tight wristband up for a couple of weeks and as for a miracle my pain disappeared.

I researched a bit on Arnica and found out that it is widely used in alternative and also in traditional medicine to cure inflammations.

See below some info on Arnica Montana. I bought it cheaply in Italy but you can easily find it at boots or superdrug for around 3 quid. It is ok to be used while breastfeeding.

If you have suggestions or helpful tips on how to heal new mum's wrists please share them so that other moms can learn from your experiences.

Arnica Montana

Known for its mind and body healing properties, the herb Arnica has been harvested for centuries from the mountain pastures and lowland marshes of Europe and North America. The perennial plant with orange-yellow, daisy-like flowers has a pleasant spicy smell and is renowned for its curative and restorative powers. The flowers and rootstocks are dried, the most valuable part being the flowers. This amazing herb, sometimes brewed as a tea, but often made into a lotion and infused with oil or cream for injuries such as falls, is a known homeopathic cure for stress, impotence, sleeping problems, baldness and emotional shock and trauma caused by past incidents.

Arnica once almost completely disappeared because of over harvesting but is now grown and gathered sustainably to ensure that the herb remains in use for future generations. Arnica Montana is now available for general use.

Homeopathy's founder, Samuel Hahnemann discovered in his experiments with the herb Arnica over 200 years ago that it helped heal everything from baldness and impotence to incontinence, cramps, bruises, general soreness, forgetfulness, travel sickness, sleeping problems, gout, rheumatism and emotional problems.

Arnica was made into a homeopathic remedy in the 18th and 19th centuries following Hahnemann's research. Today, Arnica Montana is the first remedy used by homeopaths to heal people affected by shock, trauma or injury to the body, and is as appropriate for a mental, emotional or spiritual shock as much as physical injuries.

The nonirritant extract is used in anti inflammatory and regenerative creams and in hair cosmetics. The extract can also be used in cleansing creams, skin lotions and as an ingredient in facial steams before the application of face packs.